How to understand that this is not just a difficult crisis period, but the notorious point of no return? We have collected stories told on behalf of men, which reflected the most common reasons for parting.
Lack of common goals
Oleg: “We didn’t talk about children, and that was a mistake”
“When we decided to live together, the issue of children did not arise. At that moment, it was important for me to build my own business. I directed all the time and free funds to the business. After a couple of months, she began to hint, and then openly say that the child is important to her. I said I didn’t mind, but not now. I did not expect her reaction to be so violent, with tears.
The next day we talked about it already in a calm state, and she admitted that she was thinking about age. And that, perhaps, in a couple of years she will not be able to become a mother. I understood that this topic would remain between us. The decision was not easy for me, but after a couple of weeks I confessed to her that I can no longer live with a load of guilt. We broke up».
Kirill: “The idea of moving caused her rejection”
“Thoughts that I can realize myself better in another country have been with me since my student days. I graduated from college, got married, and five years later my classmate from Canada contacted me and offered to come and work on a joint project.
I shared this with my wife, but met with complete rejection. She said she wants to be closer to her parents
I replied that parents are important, but we have our own life. In the end, you can just try, if you don’t like it, we will always return. I felt that I was running into a blank wall, and I realized that we would not be able to agree. I loved her, but I couldn’t sacrifice my dream.»
Loss of trust
Mikhail: “Everything saw her new betrayal”
“It all started with what I found out: my wife was cheating on me. I forgave, we managed to understand each other and stay together, although there was a long and painful reconciliation. When relations were restored, there was euphoria between us, as at the very beginning of our acquaintance. However, gradually something began to break. And that “something” is my trust.
Whenever I could not contact her, my imagination treacherously painted pictures of a new betrayal. I began to ask more and more questions that she did not like. She replied that I was driving her into a corner, depriving her of air. We began to quarrel. Every little thing was annoying. In the end, I realized that the crack that appeared after her betrayal would not be smoothed out. We broke up and that was my decision.»
Arthur: «I can’t earn her trust for the rest of my life»
“A few years ago I had problems with business. To save him, I took out a loan. He didn’t tell his wife. She found out about everything herself, quarrels began. I moved out to the cottage, which was then empty. We barely saw each other or talked.
A year later, I managed to improve my business and pay off my loans. We met and for the first time in a long time we talked heart to heart.
I returned home, we had hope to start everything from scratch
However, after a couple of months, I felt control on her part: my wife wanted to know what I was doing and where I was literally every minute. If I did not answer the call, I could make a scandal.
One day she demanded that I show her all the bank documents. He replied that such a requirement is humiliating. Quarrels began to happen between us again, during one of them the wife threw: “I can’t trust you.” This phrase hit me. I realized that I could not earn her trust for the rest of my life. A month later, we finally broke up.
Sexual Chill
Andrei: “I can get along with her, but I have lost sexual interest”
“We have long ceased to understand each other, but the problems were so difficult that it was too painful to talk about it. We just learned how to share housing without conflict. However, the rift in the relationship still caught up with us — in bed.
I stopped making love to her. It offended her. She began to initiate intimacy herself: she put on frivolous underwear, arranged a candlelit dinner. But I realized that I could get along with my wife, but at the same time I lost sexual interest in her.
It ended with the fact that one day she cheated on her. Of course, we could be one of those couples where they just turn a blind eye to it. But I don’t want to live like that.»
Marat: “Relationships with me were convenient for her”
“I guess what happens or doesn’t happen in sex honestly reflects the relationship. And they have long become formal. I turned a blind eye to the fact that she was indifferent to many issues in my life, but I could not refuse to have sex with her. This was the trigger for our separation from my wife.
I listened to excuses for a long time about the fact that she was tired. Not in the mood. In the end, I admitted to myself that I just didn’t need it. She saves the marriage only because it is so convenient.
Humiliation and manipulation
Vasily: “She stopped believing in me”
“When we started dating, everything was going well for me. He kept several auto repair shops and a transportation company. However, it turned out that the partner set me up. I lost my business and I still owe it.
At first, my wife supported me, and then I began to hear reproaches more and more often. Yes, we had hard times and sometimes we had to live on her salary, everything that I earned went into debt. She stopped believing in me and was already openly saying humiliating things. I was silent.
But when, in the presence of her mother, she called me a loser, he just packed up and left. Over time, things got better, I have a successful business again, but I don’t want to restore relations, as she suggests.”
Maris: «Tired of hearing that I ruined her life»
“Our quarrels ended in her tears, and she simply defiantly went to spend the night with her mother. I called and apologized. Listened to what ruined her life. This is how she always got her way: for example, that I stop communicating with friends that she did not like. In the end, I realized that I could not and did not want to endlessly agree with her manipulations.