Washing, ironing, dusting, putting things in their places… Heavy duty? For some, this is almost bliss! They feel really good about tidying up around…and within themselves. Brush and vacuum cleaner as new personal growth tools?
Cleaning conversations often begin with complaints — «I can’t stand this!» — and end with a statement of fact: we, as before, have a glaring inequality in the distribution of household duties.
Women still get an unfair amount of housework: even in Europe, women devote about 4 hours a day to it, and men 2,5 hours, according to the French institute INSEE.
Therefore, talking about the positive aspects of cleaning, we immediately turn out to be house building singers.
And thus we play into the hands of those who want to lock a woman in four walls. But still, let’s admit it — some of us like to clean up. Bringing cleanliness and order, maintaining comfort, they feel that they are flourishing, that this occupation makes them better!
True, we have to be ashamed of these feelings or even hide them from ourselves: after all, there is nothing “noble” in putting things in order in the house, and if we really like it, we risk being branded as “maniacs of cleanliness” or “hysterics with mop.» Meanwhile, the pleasure of cleaning says something completely different.
Release endorphins
“I was intrigued by a survey conducted in England,” says psychologist Anne de Chalvron. Most of the women said they enjoy cleaning and tidying up because that’s how they keep the house under control. They admitted that they love to clean up even more than having sex! I wanted to understand what is behind these statements … «
What does the desire to control your home indicate? “Symbolically, cleaning can be seen as appropriation of space,” explains psychologist Alexandra Suchkova. — The one who cleaned here is the owner here. At such moments, we feel absolutely safe, in our comfort zone.
So that’s why, when we feel anxious, we sometimes grab the vacuum cleaner! Working at home, we find peace of mind. “Feeling that we are losing control over life, we unconsciously try to restore it at least in this area,” says Alexandra Suchkova. “When we put things in order, we calm down.”
Anne de Chalvron, citing neuroscientist Kelly Lambert, explains: Our brains are designed to cope with severe physical exertion; moreover, we need it for peace of mind.
In response to the load, endorphins, “hormones of joy”, begin to be actively produced.
52-year-old Irina, a lawyer, also speaks about this: “A month after my husband left me, I found the strength to take care of the house. As I washed off the dirt and sorted out things, my strength returned to me. About three hours later, I looked into a clean mirror and said to myself: «You deserve more.» And she began to dance!
Cleaning is also an important ritual of all cultures and religions, a symbol of purification and renewal: before Easter among Christians, on Pesach among Jews, on Eid al-Adha among Muslims, as well as in Japan and China on the occasion of the New Year.
“I can’t boast of a special spirituality,” says 48-year-old Yana, a criminologist, “but what I experience, sorting out cabinets and throwing away unnecessary things, is close to meditation, as I imagine it.”
ventilate your head
When we clean up, we also cleanse our psyche, put everything on the shelves in the literal and figurative sense. Our (not) desire to put things in order and cleanliness around us is a manifestation of what is happening inside us. “The external reflects the internal,” emphasizes Jungian analyst Olga Efimova. “One of the symptoms of depression is just a complete lack of interest in household chores.”
Conversely, an important sign of mental recovery is a return to simple daily activities, such as cleaning. “Surrounding ourselves with a lot of unnecessary things, we seem to be afraid to let go of the past, to let something new into our lives,” adds Olga Efimova. “Having decided to conduct an audit and get rid of the excess, we complete a certain story, free ourselves from this psychological burden, and open ourselves to change.”
Putting our house in order, we put our thoughts in order, relieve tension, calm down and at the same time … release inspiration. I have often heard from colleagues that before they sit down to write an article, they need to carefully lay out all the items on the desk or wash the stove to a shine. And, for example, the writer Marguerite Duras admitted that she must carefully make the bed before she starts writing.
Often we think that we have run the house because we are too busy with work.
As 35-year-old Marianna, a financier, admits, for a long time she simply did not notice how her apartment had changed. “I somehow managed to abstract myself from dust in the corners and things scattered everywhere. But one day, returning from a trip, I suddenly saw all this and was horrified! And she didn’t calm down until she put things in order.”
In fact, this «suddenly» is not accidental. “The unexpected need to finally do a serious cleaning, sort out the “rubble” in the house is a signal of an urgent need for some kind of change in life,” notes Alexandra Suchkova.
And men are no exception: “When I get out, I can focus,” admits 40-year-old Robert. — When melancholy attacks, I open the closet and throw out everything superfluous. After that, I feel better.” Robert is a sculptor and cleaning is not his forte, but he loves to sit in an armchair and contemplate the work of his hands.
Bring back the taste for life
After all, a cleaned apartment is a work of art, the result of our creativity. Neat stacks of ironed linen are pleasing to the eye, through the washed shiny glass it is tempting to look again and again, sometimes you even want to open all the cabinet doors in order to once again enjoy the result of your efforts.
The house, emphasizes the sociologist Jean-Claude Kaufman, symbolizes our existence. And cleaning, cleaning, restoring beauty is at the same time a reminder to ourselves that we are.
To take care of the house is also to take care of the hearth, that is, to build your family
If we feel the desire to take care of our home, put things in order, then we are returning to ourselves, we want to give ourselves attention and time. After all, cleaning is a kind of act of love, a gift that we make to ourselves.
Yana noticed that after a vacation or a business trip she likes to take a sponge and a brush in her hands in order to take her place in the family again, to feel like a mistress: “I do this not so much for the sake of cleanliness, but for myself, to know that everything is in order. And then let everything be scattered and dirty again, this is life. Indeed, this is life: in it, after all, restoring harmony requires effort, but it’s worth it …