It’s never too late to have faith in yourself

The deepest foundations that define self-confidence are related to the quality of the relationships in which we lived and became part of us – relationships that connected us in early childhood with parents and other loved ones.

But self-confidence does not only come from the love you received as a child. This inner sense of security, this strength, this way of being in the world, all form the positive messages we receive.

These include positive evaluations, commendations, rewards, validation of strengths, opportunities, and limitations, and other ways that have helped us feel our worth, define ourselves and our place.

The core of self-confidence must be strong and secure enough to withstand the onslaught of intolerance, waves of disappointment and bitterness, intrusion and violence from others.

But even if we didn’t develop this confidence as a child, we can develop it as an adult. It is born from a meeting with someone who helps build our inner world. Such a person becomes a beacon and allows us to see the best in us, to recognize that we carry something unique, good, valuable in ourselves.

No matter how old we are, we can always find ways to come to terms with different parts of our personality, learn to trust ourselves. It seems to me that for this you need to learn four things:

• love yourself not with narcissistic, but with benevolent love;
• respect yourself, do not allow others to manipulate you, refuse others;
• take responsibility for your life;
• be true to your own values, your choices, your life commitments.

Once we recognize our resources, it becomes much easier for us to trust ourselves. Opening up to new experience, we increase the space of possibilities for knowing ourselves.

Belief in oneself is not desire and will, it is the spirit of creativity put at the service of our “I”.