Hello! Today we will try to figure out if there is a manifestation of selfishness in the phrase: «Rise yourself to help others.» And in order to do this, I propose to start by finding out what this term represents.
Selfishness
A person prone to selfishness is focused only on himself, or mainly on himself. He is so filled with his own ego that there is literally no place for another person in his life, soul, thoughts, and so on.
He does not know how to give, to share. And if it does, it is very hard to part and hope that it will either be returned to him, or something even better will be presented. But he takes it without a twinge of conscience and copes with this action perfectly.
Sometimes he exaggerates his merits, being a narcissistic person, he is simply unable to objectively look at the situation. And no matter how it seems from the outside, he really does not know how to love, because he does not accept his shortcomings and limitations.
The egoist strives to notice only the good, sticking it out for show and fixing only on the advantages, clinging to them, as if with a stranglehold.
This happens by virtue of compensation for dislike for oneself. Because the one who treats his own personality with respect knows how to take care of other people, he appreciates them and accepts them as they are. After all, in fact he himself is imperfect, but at the same time real, sincere.
But do not forget that there is a completely healthy egoism — this is when a person does not act to the detriment of himself, but helps others, not forgetting about his own needs.
We don’t just go to work to promote the company we work for, do we? If it were so, our strength would not last long, and anger would grow every day, threatening to turn into annihilation aggression, that is, destructive, affective, when a person no longer controls himself.
Is there selfishness in this phrase?
Let’s now return to the expression: «Get up yourself to help others.» The first question is about resources. A person who literally “rolls around” does not have stability, therefore, he is not able to even with a very strong desire to help someone.
If only because he needs help. To give something, first of all, it is necessary to have it, right?
Therefore, it’s true that it’s better to start with yourself, showing quite healthy egoism, and not sacrifice, and then switching to those around you who need help. Otherwise, you can deplete your resources so much that the question arises of how to preserve the integrity of the body, or even restore it.
Have you heard that on airplanes in the event of an emergency, critical situation, you should first put on an oxygen mask for yourself, and only then for your child?
So after all, they didn’t come up with it in order to teach them to save their lives first. And to save yourself and your child. Because if you lose consciousness, he will have much less chance of surviving, because you will not be able to help him if something happens. And even more so for you.
Exactly the same things are with all other spheres of life, relationships. Only being in a resource, you will master the provision of support and assistance. At the very least, do more harm than good.
Completion
So, dear readers, take care of yourself, then you will have both the strength and the desire to take care of loved ones and not so people. And how to love yourself, you will learn from this article.
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The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina