Pain is a functional symptom. It always means something. But if we treat only the final effect, i.e. the symptom and not the cause, the ailment will recur or appear in a different form. So maybe we need to get down to treating what the child really feels? What we can learn from careful observation of pain in a child and how to help him, says pediatrician Joanna Gzik
- Children find it harder to express emotions in words. They use their entire body to show that something is stressing, worrying and frightening them. One of the ways to show fear is through pain
- It is difficult for parents to decide when the cause of the ailments is disease, and when the little one wants to attract attention. In the latter situation, we are talking about the so-called psychogenic pains
- – Often the appearance of ailments is related to the expansion of the family. Until now, a few-year-old was a star in his surroundings, aroused admiration and recognition. And suddenly, in his opinion, of course, there is an “intruder” – explains the pediatrician Joanna Gzik
- It also explains how parents can recognize these psychogenic pains in their child and how they should respond to them
- More information can be found on the Onet homepage
Children act instinctively and intuitively in everyday life. They do not know adult tools for communication or expressing emotions and feelings. They cannot cope with difficult situations, so they suffer and get sick with the whole organism. Instead of words, they use the body, which is used to manifest what is very important, but cannot express itself except through ailments, such as pain. It is difficult for parents to decide when the cause of the ailments is disease, and when the little one wants to attract attention. All ailments always require careful attention of the caregivers who are responsible for the health and well-being of the child.
Dominika Bagińska: How is the pain reported to us by a child analyzed?
Joanna Gzik: This is an important signal that must be considered as a whole. If it is acute, sudden, we do not delay a quick diagnosis, because it may be a symptom of some disease. I often ask parents how their child behaves when they complain about pain. How severe are the symptoms: does the child stop playing, lie down, suffer? Or maybe he is talking about pain, but does not stop his activities or play? It is also necessary to analyze the situations in which this pain occurs. Maybe the stomach hurts during meals, which is a fussy eater’s way to avoid them? Morning abdominal pain can also signal a fear of what is about to happen, such as going to kindergarten. Maybe the appearance of the ailments coincided with the change of residence, going to or changing school, the loss of a beloved teddy bear, a loved one, etc.
Of course, this does not absolve us from analyzing the ailment itself. It must be checked if there is anything else accompanying it. If headaches are accompanied by nausea, vomiting, dizziness, fainting – we urgently explain the cause, because it may be a symptom of the disease. However, if the child, for example after returning from school, complains of abdominal pain, but does not refuse to eat, it does not interfere with his play – it is likely that the ailment is not caused by the disease, but by some other cause.
Why don’t the children talk directly about their feelings?
– From what I observe, the problem of the so-called psychogenic ailments, headaches or stomachaches concerns children who would like to, but cannot cope with, some difficult situation – at home, in kindergarten, at school. It’s an attempt to get attention: talk to me, listen to me, let’s spend time together. This is a cry for help. When the soul cries, the body screams. What happens in our emotions, in our head, affects how our body functions on a physical level. After all, the little boy says: my head hurts, me – as a child, as a whole. It doesn’t say: my head hurts or my intestines hurt. This is my feeling, please notice me. And this is how you have to deal with these ailments. If we treat only the final effect, i.e. the symptom and not the cause, such ailment will recur or appear in a different form. So if the stomach ached, for example, a headache will appear in its place.
How can we recognize that our child is struggling with something?
– Children signal that they are not coping with something, in the first place to their parents and guardians – because they expect support from them. Therefore, those closest to your child will be best able to see the true cause of the problem. What is scientifically called psychogenic headaches or abdominal pain means functional disorders of organs or systems. We get a signal that something abnormal is just beginning to happen in the body. However, diagnostic tests are usually correct and do not show anything disturbing (the stomach really hurts – the brain under stress affects every organ, which is an effector tool). Such difficult situations, which cause ailments for a child, occur frequently. It is, for example, the divorce of the parents.
Of course, the parents assure the child that they still love them, but the child sees it differently. I want to be with my mom and dad. So he tries to focus their attention on himself. There is pain in a difficult situation. Sometimes, when parents have arguments and arguments, the child suddenly vomits and cries that their tummy hurts. So the parents pay attention to the little one and the situation at home is somewhat normalized. What was the problem is no longer important. Of course he will come back, but the child did his best to fix the atmosphere in the house right now.
- ARTICLE FROM NEWSWEEK MAGAZINE CHILD’S PSYCHOLOGY 2/2020
The problem of so-called psychogenic ailments, headaches or stomachaches, concerns children who would like to, but cannot cope with, some difficult situation for them. It is an attempt to get attention
Under what other circumstances do the youngest tell us about their troubles through the symptoms of pain or disease?
– Often the appearance of ailments is related to the expansion of the family. Until now, a few-year-old was a star in his surroundings, aroused admiration and recognition. And suddenly, of course in his mind, there is an “intruder”. A child would love to meet the parents’ expectations and be a good sister or brother, but he takes his mother from him, who constantly takes care of him, for example gives his breast to feed and sits with him for half an hour, and not with the older child. Also “only his” beloved grandmother is now delighted with the new baby, not noticing the older child. Such jealous children cry for help in different ways: they can suddenly become very rude, aggressive, tearful. Sometimes they start to get wet or contaminated, or they try to imitate a toddler and want to drink from a bottle or suck on the breast. Pain ailments often appear – because such treatments help to focus the parents’ attention on the firstborn again.
What can we do to help the child with its pain, both mental and physical?
– I advise parents to devote more time to their child. Usually they say that’s what they do. However, what a child feels follows paths inaccessible to adults. Even if parents devote 90 percent of their time to an older child and 10 to a younger one, the older child feels it is still not enough. We should not assume that a child knows he is loved. It needs these assurances all the time. Small gestures will help here: hugging, kissing while playing on the head and whispering the words: I love you very much, on the basis of a shared secret. Praise the child when he is trying and being well-behaved, and not just admonishing him when he is being naughty. Let’s try to find a little time to do something just for the two of us. So that the child feels that the parent is only his / her then. The words: “you are important”, “it’s good that you are”, “I’m proud of you”, “let’s talk” are extremely important for a child and can affect its functioning in the world. Help him in these difficult moments.
And how does the pain signaling of difficult emotions manifest in older children?
– Today, children have a stressful life. At each stage of their education, they are assessed and compared. Not all parents find time for their child to help him. It stays the same, it cannot cope with it – so there is sadness, depressed mood, ailments at the organ level, and finally a disease (e.g. irritable bowel syndrome turns into a bowel disease).
Sometimes, when such children have a test or exam in front of them, for fear that they will fail, they suddenly develop an acute illness, for example, angina and a fever of 40 degrees or very severe back pain. This means that, of course, they stay at home and do not take their exams. However, this does not solve the difficult situation for them. They still can’t cope with stress. Relationships with peers and conflict situations can be a huge problem for school-age children. Treating disease symptoms or pain symptoms alone without finding their cause may cause the accumulation of negative feelings to cause depression in these children.
What can we do to help a child with psychogenic pains?
– Let us focus on the child when there is an ailment that we know is emotional. Let’s spend time with him. Let’s talk, let’s hug. When, after returning from school or kindergarten, the child complains of abdominal pain, let them lie down for 15 minutes, play some relaxing music, place a warm hot water bottle on the child’s stomach, make warm tea, and stroke it. To help your child relax and unwind, you can do some relaxation gymnastics or a Schultz training with him. We visualize good memories, for example of being by a lake, when we imagine how warm it is, how soft the grass we lie on, how our legs, arms and whole body become heavy and limp, and we relax when we hear birds sing and splash of water. Of course, we are the parents who quietly tell the child about all this, and the child gradually relaxes. Pain is relieving. Most often you will no longer need a painkiller. Over time, the child will learn to relieve tension on its own. In turn, bad emotions, aggression and anger are discharged by the “roar of the lion” – the child throws his fists out and feigns a roar. The hover war also works similarly.
However, such home methods are not always enough. When is it worth consulting a doctor?
– I always take care not to miss something. So I order a thorough diagnosis. However, if the research shows nothing concrete, then an in-depth conversation with the parents is necessary. Together, we look for the cause of the child’s behavior change. For if the child copes with a difficult situation, functional symptoms, such as pain, will subside. One should not only focus on these final symptoms, but also the child’s ailments should not be underestimated. Homeopathy offers a wide range of cure for what a child feels – thanks to a holistic approach to the patient, taking into account the causes of ailments.
During the visit, we ask when the symptoms started, what the child feels in this situation, how does he react. What bothers him: sadness, regret, anger, anger. How it would like everything to turn out. This helps us choose a drug. One that will help relieve symptoms – for example, the feeling of pain, or one that will counteract it. We take into account the processes that take place in the child’s body physically, but we also analyze how the disease affects his entire body, also the psyche, but also how emotions affect the appearance of ailments. How he calls out for help. Of course, this requires good cooperation with the parents, but it is comforting for the whole family, as it helps to better understand the child. Besides, such drugs do not have any side effects, which is why parents use them more often. Thanks to this type of therapy, the little patient begins to perceive his difficult situation differently. He is gradually getting better at dealing with problems on his own.
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Information about the expert:
bow. med. Joanna Gzik, a specialist pediatrician, uses in her practice also additional natural therapies, such as homeopathy and herbal medicine. A pediatrician with many years of clinical experience in the field of preventive health care for children.