Is past success worth it?

It’s only in glossy magazines and in our heads that the idea of ​​other people’s lives is like this: everything goes smoothly and smoothly for them, that the rich are always rich, the famous are always famous, successful people somehow live without failures and depressions, because all failures, depressions and even minor troubles got us. It only seems. As Alla Pugacheva sang to herself: «… That I live without sadness and worries, That I am the luckiest person in the world, And always, and in everything I’m lucky.» In fact, everything is in stripes or waves for everyone: rise, fall, success, failure.

Take Donald Trump, for example. He is now the American president. Before that, he was a very famous businessman, and I even have his biographical book somewhere. In it, he writes that in the 90s his company owed billions, and he personally 900 million. And somehow Trump and his then wife are walking down the street and they meet a homeless man.

“Look, Marla,” Trump says to his wife, “this beggar is richer than me.

— In what sense? Marla doesn’t understand.

— Well, he still has some money of his own in his pocket, and I have minus 900 million.

As if to confirm the theory of the wave nature of life, most of my friends are now on the wave that is directed from top to bottom. In short, they are in recession. And everyone has not only regret about a successful period, but also a special image, a metaphor in which the past successful life is, as it were, compressed and concentrated.

For example, my friend Valya. Now he is struggling to make ends meet, his wife is pregnant, it is not very clear how to feed his family. And earlier he had a large and actively working paintball club. He had a great car and a lot of money. His metaphor for that life is a bedside table: “I need to take some money with me, I go to the bedside table,” recalls Valentin, “and I take it from there, not counting.” Another friend of mine, Danila, is also going through hard times now. He has the following metaphor for better times: “I’m sitting in a bar, drinking beer,” Danila rolls his eyes dreamily, “and there are ten people with me at that moment. That is, not with me, but just in a bar. And I say to the bartender: «All the beer at my expense.»

My friend Natasha worked on television, on a large federal channel, in the main news program. Then Natasha was reduced. And now she very often recalls that life. Her metaphor is a journalist’s ID:

“You know, before the documents in Moscow were constantly checked. Everyone has. You go to the subway, a policeman comes up to you and asks for your passport.” And I told him: “I don’t have a passport, I have a certificate.” And I give him a license. It is of morocco leather and bears a coat of arms— Natasha, as she tells it, clearly imagines and almost feels this crunchy leather certificate in her hands. — It means that the policeman takes my certificate, reads it, and then his facial expression immediately changes from strict and important to such a whining one. He begins to complain to me about life, they say, influence, improve my unfortunate police lot. Wherever you look, there is so much injustice around, the title is not awarded for a long time, the work is hard in our police, they pay little, take it off, show it, and maybe everything will change for the better.

Natasha was pleased with all this: both the certificate, and the complaints of the policeman, and her status as a big person from the TV.

Ksenia used to work in a large advertising agency and lived there the best of her periods. Not like now, when she does her own manicures and pedicures, and even then she does not always have time, because now she is a beginner real estate agent, which means she has a lot of work and an indefinite income. And then, in a past life, she always went to the salon, and her manicure did not have time to deteriorate, she immediately updated it. But the main thing, says Ksyusha, is this:

— You get up in the morning, pop a cup of coffee and go to the beauty salon.

— What for? I ask.

— What do you mean why? So that they wash my hair and style my hair there.

Why not wash your hair at home?

Ksenia laughs with such an expression, as if I do not understand anything in a beautiful life.

— Firstly, they have professional tools, and secondly, styling. Thirdly, it’s just nice.

And that’s what I think about these metaphors of past success. My friends, every time they pull out of their memory that morocco identity card, a nightstand full of money, or a hair wash in the salon, they inflame their wounds, they feel like miserable losers here and now. This image from a past life drops their self-esteem below nowhere and gives them heartache. But, even worse, it is such a nasty anchor that prevents them from looking ahead and developing. This anchor focuses attention on the past rather than the present and future.

By the way, in reality, it is most likely impossible to return to this metaphor. We ourselves have changed a lot, and what used to be valuable, now, perhaps, is no longer relevant.

Valentin, even if he becomes a successful businessman again, as the father of the family is unlikely to spend without counting. Because adults and responsible people just count their money. And Ksenia is now more likely to accumulate money for her own apartment than to go to a beauty salon every day. But, if we still hold on to our metaphor and mention it on occasion, this is a sure sign that a successful time in our life has not yet begun. Especially if many years have passed and nothing has blocked your favorite old image.

For example, Natasha has not been a television woman for 20 years. Now she does not work in her specialty at all, she is interrupted by casual part-time jobs. We saw her last week, and she again spoke wistfully about this certificate of hers.

In general, before we lose all our friends who are tired of hearing how cool we once were, we must somehow throw away this old rusty anchor — a metaphor for past success. And just then, there will be a chance for a long-awaited rise.