Experienced mental trauma changes a person, which often creates problems in relationships with loved ones. The question arises: is a person suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder capable of a love relationship at all?
“If you or your loved one suffers from PTSD, do not despair: there are ways to mitigate the symptoms and significantly improve the quality of life,” says psychotherapist Bruce Karp. How exactly does PTSD manifest itself in love relationships? Here are the top 5 personal life challenges that people with this disorder may face.
1. They find it difficult to trust others.
They have been treated so badly that they have lost faith in humanity and now find it very difficult to allow themselves to trust others again. Any, even minor, misunderstandings and troubles in communication can turn the person with whom they are trying to establish relations into a villain.
2. They are afraid to get close.
After an injury, people frighten them, they feel uncomfortable in the crowd, most often they want to be alone with themselves.
3. They easily go into «defensive mode»
The pain from a severe injury does not go away for a long time, and a person suffering from PTSD is always on the alert and ready to defend himself. If you find yourself in a similar situation, the first step is to acknowledge that there is a problem. You may be convincing yourself that you are better off choosing to be alone so that no one can hurt you.
But by becoming a recluse, you still lose much more than you gain. Man by nature is a social being. We feel best in the company of loved ones. After an injury, it may take time to recover, but sooner or later it is necessary to resume social contacts.
4. They are easily disappointed.
If you, despite the trauma, decide to take risks and start a relationship, in the process of their development you will inevitably encounter troubles and disappointments, even if they are minor.
PTSD sufferers push away people who evoke traumatic memories in some way.
Psychologically healthy people who have not experienced serious traumas make realistic demands on their partner and are ready to forgive a lot (unless, of course, we are talking about something unacceptable — drug addiction, assault, treason). Many PTSD sufferers tend to «make a molehill out of a fly,» reacting extremely sharply to even minor transgressions of a partner.
“One of my clients suffered childhood abuse from his mother — she regularly yelled at him and even beat him. At these moments, he felt complete helplessness and was afraid that she could cripple him or kill him. As a result, he developed PTSD.
Already in adulthood, he quite freely entered into relationships with women, since at the beginning of the acquaintance there was still nothing to remind him of a traumatic experience. But as relations developed, some conflicts and disputes inevitably arose. As soon as his partner raised his voice at least once, he could no longer be with her.
Even if he verbally forgave her behavior, he no longer felt safe around her. At the age of 30, he had already experienced more than 10 similar novels, which each time lasted only a few months and ended in a difficult break, ”says Bruce Karp.
5. They push others away.
It is not uncommon for PTSD sufferers to push away people who evoke traumatic memories in some way. Sometimes they even do it in advance, as if trying to prevent possible pain. But even if they do not do it consciously, their anger and irritability, like poison, poison their relationships with others.