Is it worth it to force yourself to intimacy?

“In theory, you should never force yourself to be intimate. However, if we wait until we get the same excitement as at the beginning of a love relationship (when attraction arose by itself, without additional effort on our part), then we will have sex quite rarely. In the evenings, we want to lie down and fall asleep more quickly than to frolic in bed, and in the mornings there is not enough time for this, and our head is already full of worries for the coming day … Avoiding the term “compulsion”, let’s talk about our desire to maintain attraction, about how it can be tightened up a bit. For example, often we just need to imagine that we are already making love, as desire appears. And when it comes down to it, we see that we were not so exhausted, and we get real pleasure. It’s like going to the theater after a hard day’s work: at first we barely trudge there, but in the end we have a great evening.

However, it is worth remembering: if a little effort on oneself helps to fight laziness and is good, then forced sex under pressure from a partner is nothing more than the death of love. When one of the partners forces himself into intimacy out of fear that the other might leave or get angry, he only accumulates bitterness in himself, and all this repressed, unexpressed aggression will inevitably subsequently result in clashes in other areas. In the case when a woman “allows” a man to please him (as if she were rewarding a little boy), she uses a maternal model of behavior that does little to arouse desire in both. Whatever the case, if a man and a woman can’t say no, their bodies will eventually do it for them – whether it’s an erection problem or premature ejaculation in him or a lack of vaginal lubrication and orgasm in her … “