Is it possible to talk about training in relationships of close people?

Is it possible to use training in relation to people close and dear to us? Is it normal for loved ones to use training on ourselves?

Reader comments on the article Psychology of men and dogs:

What is the answer to this? There is some truth here. They train rats, dogs, pigeons and other representatives of the animal world, and you don’t want to put yourself and your loved ones in this row. To the extent that we use our minds, we can negotiate with each other and with ourselves, and then we can do without training. The more intelligent a person is, the easier it is to resolve any issues with him; The only problem is that we are not always reasonable. And then what to do with us?

She wants her husband not to champ at the table, it is important for him that his wife is not so categorical. The main thing is that in both cases everything is FOR, it’s just that the husband is too lazy to take care of himself, and the wife gets carried away during the conversation and does not notice her intonations. However, they are ready to help each other, and influence through hidden suggestions and the method of positive reinforcement gives results. Manipulation? — Yes. Positive training is right. When they learn to take care of themselves on their own, this will not be necessary. For now, that’s the only thing that helps.

The salad does not consist of salt and spices, but grains of salt and spices in the hands of a skilled hostess make the salad tastier. Relationships in good couples are not about manipulation or training, but in the hands of wise people, grains of these influences help to make the relationship more attractive. When a husband and wife know how to educate themselves, carefully monitor their speech and their behavior, they do not need to educate each other. But if it’s hard for us to take care of ourselves, this work has to be done by others, stopping our unwanted behavior and instilling in us the necessary habits. “Instilling habits in a person” is the everyday name for what is called training in science: repetition and consolidation, repetition and consolidation. To the extent that we instill good habits in ourselves or others, we are engaged in training ourselves or others.

“Darling, thank you, what a beautiful bouquet! And I have already cooked dinner: everything you love!” — in the language of scientific concepts, this is a positive reinforcement of the desired behavior and an element of training. And in the language of everyday communication, it is warmth, attention and care. Perhaps it’s good?

Everyone wants to be respected, and respect involves seeing the other person as a subject. You don’t want to be the object of training. However, a curious fact is known: it is the talented trainers who have very strong, close and sincere relationships with close people. It seems that training does not exclude love and respect, and with skillful use can be a help to them.

It is also necessary to take into account the fact that people live not only by reason, but also by feelings. And how, how to influence a person, a man or a woman, if this person is now guided not by reason, but by feelings? What to do with men and women who have long and consciously chosen to live in personal relationships with feelings, and not with reason? In good couples, the example method helps: if you yourself behave nicely, caringly and decently, your partner usually responds in the same way. However, this still does not solve all the problems, and if the husband throws socks all over the apartment, and the wife considers it possible to play the offended silence, then the method of personal example will not help much here. More effective — emotional pressure, hidden suggestions and training. You do all this every day without realizing it, and there is no need to blame yourself for it: when performed by attentive and loving people, these tools can give excellent results. As usual, it is not the instrument itself that is more important, but in whose hands it is, what kind of person uses it.