When relationships are under threat, we sometimes indulge in all serious things: dress up as nurses and bunnies, buy toys, learn intimate gymnastics. But is it possible to save fading feelings with the help of sex?
When it seems to us that the relationship is no longer the same, that the partner is moving away, not paying attention to us, we are visited by a seditious thought: if we become even more passionate and desirable, the partner will not leave us for anything in the world. The desire to comprehend the secrets of sexual manipulation of others pushes us to visit forums and websites, blogs of coaches and trainers. In addition, acquaintances share personal experiences or opinions when we turn to them for help. In our reality, women do this more often, and at their service are not only the advice of friends, but also a huge industry of sex schools and trainings.
It is generally accepted that men are more in need of intimacy than women. But this is just a stereotype. Of course, for a woman, intimacy is no less important than for a man. Today, sex has ceased to be both a reward to be earned and a debt to be repaid. And nowadays, it’s easy for a woman and a man to find easy, mutually pleasant, affordable and non-committal sex.
Having sex is a must, but only when it will bring pleasure to both
If you are seriously thinking about how to keep your partner with the help of special sexual techniques and tricks, you should think: what is your relationship based on or was it based on before? A lot depends on the answer.
● If your connection is based solely on physical intimacy, then you will be together as long as it suits both. If one of the partners loses interest in the other, it remains either to look for new ways to please each other, or to disperse.
● If your relationship is built on respect, sympathy, trust and other components, then sex alone, no matter how bold your ideas about it, will not be enough to save them.
What do we do when we turn to forums, blogs and girlfriends for help, if we go to courses in the art of love and consider all this to be the key to saving our connection? We are trying to work through the physical aspects, when we need to focus on other aspects of the relationship first. Extravagant and revealing outfits, role-playing games will not help. It is better to talk frankly with a partner or visit a specialist.
Of course, a weak, dependent partner can be kept through sex, but the effect will not last long. Moreover, it can be considered an attempt to manipulate the other. The manipulator seeks to change the partner, bind him to himself, deprive him of his will, use him for his own purposes, not being very interested in his opinion, not being honest.
Like any manipulation, this is another reason to think: is such a relationship even necessary?
But then how can you keep a partner? My opinion: nothing. No one likes it when they try to interact with him against his will. The only way out is to build healthy relationships, sincerely participate in the life of a partner, love him. To be not just lovers, but also friends, associates, allies. Spend time together, communicate, get to know each other, look for common ground. Problems can be solved through honest conversation.
Having sex is great, but only if it brings pleasure to both.