Contents
Sometimes it works out. Who and under what conditions?
Marriage of convenience
There are interesting observations: if a family is created by decent people who know how to be grateful, then over time their relationship can gradually include elements of romanticism, even if at first there was no love between them. And as a result, well-established relationships can develop into true love, it happens! See →
Stories from life
They have been living for 25 years, have long fallen in love with each other
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Not everyone is given to fall in love. It’s like a talent — someone is deprived of it.
My friend, tormented by this question, when we, her friends, got married at the institute, decided — ah! I’ll take it too, consider falling in love! And she pretended. Lived for 25 years, two children. There was no love and there is not, but affection and gratitude, the word «cherish» appeared and does not disappear, unlike many who married for love, love. They do not have a vulnerable relationship, as in the feelings of some, every word is not perceived with hostility, everything is reasonable, correct. But it already seems to her that this is love compared to our sensual troubles.
If you can’t fall in love, don’t stress. Do you want a family, children or fall in love? Decide for yourself. If you want children, look for a good person, you will “fall in love” later. Maybe. It happens, and this is not the worst option.
Two friends
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Two of my girlfriends. One married “a good man” (which is true), who, after 14 years of life, also adores her. One son. Everything is fine. But it began to go off scale, because. sex for her is hard labor, and nature demands its own, she is a beautiful lady, other men began to like her. Started a couple of novels, tossed and suffered. He is also not very happy, and he offered to divorce peacefully so that no one would torment anyone. My friend was in shock, she cried for 2 weeks, she imagined her life without him — she didn’t like it very much. I appreciated it very much. Just fell in love. Now they are expecting their second child. I feel that on some level she is still angry that everything is not right and wrong, and the feeling that life is missed and there was no romance, awe, sweet longing and all that. I’m sure if some woman tried to take him away, she would appreciate him even more.
Second. The beginning is the same. For a very long time there was a feeling of longing, not mine, I so wanted love, anger and contempt for a poor, innocent loving husband. It got to depression. Several years have passed. But then it got better. That very phase of deep love came — a person had something to respect for, an achiever and a smart one, always developing, ambitious, very smart, easy and fun with him, a great sense of humor. And it began to light and like. Relations have moved to a new stage, and they have the same honeymoon, which was not at the beginning. It is in this phase that the real personal qualities of a person are so important. And she felt somewhere ashamed of herself that she was looking for beautiful eyes and brunette, and not the essence of a good person.
No one will give you a guarantee that by starting a relationship with someone who is “not yours”, you will like him later. I’m sure you heard a bunch of opposite stories, when at first sparks flew, and then everything disappeared somewhere and people got divorced.
Denis Shvetsov
Nikolai Ivanovich, on the topic of the newsletter: Katerina (my beloved) and I built our relationship out of pure calculation. And we are happy, and we love each other, and we have more than enough romance now. Soon there will be a year as we are together. Details of how it started and developed are in the topic on my website: Looking for a life partner. When I am asked about Love, I myself regularly rely on our experience in building relationships in this matter.
Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.