Is it possible to consult friends, relatives and relatives? Different people understand this question in different ways and give different answers to it.
Women’s position
No, you can’t, it can ruin the relationship.
From a forum discussion:
And now I know a family where parents are psychotherapists. Firstly, poor children there cannot even ask a parent for advice, because they just cannot conduct therapy for their relatives. And secondly, they understand that the child is forced to live his own experience. Example: their son was frightened at the dacha in the evening by some beetles, ran out of the garden screaming. Well, not quite a cry of fright, but of course on emotions: “Dad, dad! There are bugs! Huge! Terrible! Like these ones!» shows on fingers. We would go to look, or we would ask: “What are you doing? Great!» Or: “Well, bugs, why yell? Don’t eat you!» Or they would start boring stories about beetles and other living creatures of our region, or whoever is able to react and convey their reaction to the child. The baby’s dad raised his eyes to the sky and thoughtfully drawled out: “Yes-ah-ah-ah …..” Well, it seems like he reacted to his son, but he didn’t give out his attitude to the subject either …
Male position
Naturally, you can. Why not help your friends when they ask?
Discussion
Apparently, by “counseling” women mean psychotherapeutic counseling: long-term psychological assistance to people who have moved into the position of the Victim. They are afraid in advance: they assume that people will have serious difficulties, that they will not cope with them themselves, will need help — but at the same time they also assume the troubles associated with this: the presence of resistance (“No one wants to be treated. No one likes if it is taught!”) and the consequences of this are damaged relationships. There are frequent fears: a consultation may be unsuccessful, or a person will tell his problems and later it will be unpleasant for him to remember it … There may also be fears that when advising loved ones, the consultant will not be objective, more pursuing his personal goals, and not the goals of helping a person. Women are fears, fears and concern for safety.
Men more often by «advise» mean psychological counseling (a one-time orienting conversation between a psychologist and a client about his life situation, while the client is in the position of the Author). They are sure of success in advance: they are sure that they will give practical hints, that a person will understand everything he needs and it will be to his advantage. If they are afraid of anything, then that without giving advice, they will leave him without the possibility of development. Men are more likely to believe that a consultant will be more attentive and help better just to a loved one. Men are courage, interest and attitude to development. See →