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In almost five years of Psychologies’ existence, you have already had the opportunity to see that our journal is for very personal reading, analysis and reflection on our lives. But it’s nice to share your views. Especially with those who are interested in us. We invited such people to become our co-authors and interlocutors in the next issues of the magazine. This month, Irina Khakamada, a coach and author of trainings, a writer and a TV and radio host, helped us prepare the issue.
Psychologies: In your opinion, why has our interest in the possibilities of psychology grown so noticeably in recent years?
Irina Khakamada: Psychology helps us to discover and discover our own possibilities. For a very long time, historical events in our country developed in such a way that the self-esteem of most people turned out to be clearly underestimated. From generation to generation, people were simply not allowed to believe in themselves. Knowledge and use of their capabilities were substituted for him by faith in power, in the tsar, in the Communist Party … In anything, but not in themselves. I see that today this historical memory is transmitted literally at the gene level. And our man prefers to blame the whole world for his troubles, just not to take responsibility for himself. Although lately many of us are tired of depending on external circumstances. In today’s world, the guidelines are vague and the rules of the game are fickle. Therefore, a person often spontaneously comes to the desire to try to find support in himself.
Is believing in yourself important to you?
THEIR.: Certainly! Believe in yourself and move forward along the path to harmony, happiness. Unfortunately, in our society there is a myth that happiness is a kind of short-term sigh, take-off, a moment, and a person was created in order to work, as they say, to plow. And life doesn’t have to be happy. But it’s not! This belief is a self-deception, a way to console yourself a little and get less upset when you have trouble, because it seems like you were born for trouble. Another logic is closer to me: life is given to us so that we live happy. So there is only one thing left for me – to build it in such a way as to be happier.
Did you succeed?
“IF SOMETHING GOOD SUDDENLY HAPPENS IN OUR LIFE, IT’S ONLY A BONUS, NOT MORE THAN THAT. ON THE WAY TO HAPPINESS IS NOT NEEDED, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO STOP “
THEIR.: I went a long way before I managed to believe in myself. As a child, like so many, Irina Khakamada was one hundred percent composed of complexes: there was dissatisfaction with her appearance, and lack of will, and tongue-tiedness, and isolation … Almost at a pathological level: I wrote in diaries that I did not want to live. But at the age of 14, having read the saddest works of Chekhov, I decided to squeeze a slave out of myself drop by drop.
Read more:
- Irina Khakamada: “I’m interested to know what I’m capable of”
And what helped you?
THEIR.: I guess I’ve always been a bit of a fatalist – in the sense of believing in my own path. After all, it’s not just that I, an absolute individualist, always defending my values, existed in politics for 13 years and achieved quite a lot. Theoretically, it shouldn’t. If the stars helped me, then I did something good. Later, after retiring from politics, I realized that a smart person will always find a way to do what he likes, albeit with the help of other tools. I am glad that today I can live without being imposed on anyone. Yes, I teach master classes, but I’m not a messiah, not a witch who knows something about the future, I’m not even a psychologist. I just have experience and desire to share it. And I systematize this experience and honestly convey it. These techniques have been tested by myself and are based on the fact that in our life we should not rely on anyone other than ourselves. Maybe this is harshly said, but life developed in such a way that I achieved success only when I understood that no one – neither my husband, nor friends, nor colleagues – would work for me. If something good happens unexpectedly in our life, it’s just a bonus, nothing more. On the way to happiness, you don’t have to stop, relax. Being happy is a big job.
What would you wish to the readers of Psychologies?
THEIR.: I think that the readers of the magazine, as well as those who come to my trainings, are successful people. Because they want to be successful and happy! I would wish them to act – regardless of how much they liked what they read or heard. Listen to yourself: if something suddenly hooked, just immediately start doing it. Maybe this is unusual, because many people in our country exist in the “if only” space. Most Westerners live in a “when” space. I would wish readers to start changing something in their lives as soon as they close the magazine, and not from next week, next year or decade. Start your path to harmony, to becoming happy, right now.
Private bussiness
- On April 13, 1955, she was born in Moscow in the family of the Japanese communist Mutsuo Khakamada and teacher Nina Sinelnikova.
- 1978 Graduated from the Faculty of Economics of the University. Patrice Lumumba. The son of Daniel was born.
- 1983 Received a PhD in Economics.
- 1989 Engaged in entrepreneurial activities.
- 1994 Since this year, she has been elected to the State Duma three times.
- 1997 Chairman of the State Committee of the Russian Federation for the Support and Development of Small Business. Daughter Maria was born.
- 1995–2004 Chairman of the Central Council of the All-Russian Political Public Organization “Common Cause” founded by her.
- From 2000 to 2003 – co-chairman of the political party “Union of Right Forces”. She left this party in 2004.
- 2004 Ran for the presidency of the Russian Federation and received about 4 million votes.
- 2008 Announced the cessation of political activity.
- 2010 Teaches at MGIMO International Business School of the Financial Academy, conducts master classes. Author of the program “Intellectual Aikido” on the radio “Russian News Service”.