Contents
- Child in love with his mother: a not so rare form of Oedipus
- Definition and psychoanalysis of the Electra complex: A necessary phase for its construction
- Inverted oedipal relationship: the development of gender identity
- Oedipus crisis reversed: how to react as a parent?
- How to react to an inversion of the Oedipus complex: couple activities, too!
- At what age does the reversal of an Oedipus complex end?
Child in love with his mother: a not so rare form of Oedipus
Anna, 4, says to her mother: “When I grow up, I will marry you!” “. Right in the middle of Oedipus, a psychoanalytic term inherited from the character in mythology who killed her father to marry her mother, she simply wants to take her father’s place. “This inverted form where the child falls in love with the parent of the same sex is less known but quite frequent”, notes Stéphane Clerget, child psychiatrist *.
Definition and psychoanalysis of the Electra complex: A necessary phase for its construction
Universal, the Oedipus complex manifests around the age of 3 and ceases around the age of 6. “A key stage, just like learning motor skills or language, it allows the construction of the emotional organization of his future romantic bonds,” explains Dr Clerget. The term originates from Greek mythology and from the character of Oedipus, king of Thebes who killed his father and had relations with his mother. Freud baptized in reference to this myth of Antiquity this psychological disorder of childhood. In addition, the Oedipus complex is also called Electra complex when it’s a girl who develops it.
Inverted oedipal relationship: the development of gender identity
It is therefore through the love he has for his parents that the child is initiated into sexual desire and love. This is an important stage in childhood development. At that time, to help him control his impulses and frustrations, we will be able to discuss with him the two fundamental prohibitions of human sexuality: a child does not mate with an adult, nor with a member of his family. .
And why is she looking to me instead of her father? The availability, humor or active temperament of the parent concerned can influence. The identification too: our little girl wants to do just like her daddy (including delighting our hearts) and in the process plays at imitating the grown-ups who love each other!
Oedipus crisis reversed: how to react as a parent?
Is she trying to kiss us on the mouth? Faced with the inverted Oedipus complex, we set clear limits and we explain to him that these kisses are reserved for couples in love. The goal : “disenchant” the case ! As for the dad, “he must not mope, his daughter does not love him less”, reassures Dr. Clerget. Does she prefer it when it’s mom who reads the story? Maybe we take care of it better than him … Just as dad is better at singing the song. It is up to him to find moments to maintain the bond. And then, nothing prevents us from saying: “There, it’s daddy or nothing!” “. Even read the story together, explaining, if she balks, that we want to have our husband by our side … then gradually we let him take over.
How to react to an inversion of the Oedipus complex: couple activities, too!
Practicing activities as a couple and having other interests also helps the child to understand that it is not enough to feed his mother, and to leave this oedipal maternal field.
At what age does the reversal of an Oedipus complex end?
As with an Oedipus complex or an Electra lambda complex, the inverted complex in children will generally end around the age of 6 years. It is indeed at this age that the child realizes that marrying his father or mother is not possible.
* Stéphane Clerget is the author of several books including “Our children also have a gender, how do you become a girl or a boy ? ” (Ed. Robert Laffont).