Intrinsic Benefits of Negative Emotions and Conditions

Depression, insecurity, frustration, resentment — people have a variety of problematic, negative internal states. The reasons for them are varied, but almost always one of the reasons is the internal advantage of these states. We either need these states — and we do them ourselves (usually) without noticing it, or were needed once, we have already accustomed ourselves to them — and now we reproduce out of habit, because we did it before and we always do it.

A UPP student writes: “I got the impression that it is interesting to gush with emotions for those who have nowhere to put their energy, there is no real business, goals and meaning. I judge solely by myself. Since I have a lot of energy, I remember when I was at home with my daughter, the role of a housewife was clearly not enough for me — that’s when I played Santa Barbara out of the blue. My husband said — I live with you, like on a volcano. So if a girl comes and says — I’m so emotional, I’m so worried, it’s worth very carefully finding out what her goals and plans are, since she spends energy on experiences. By the way, I think that it is precisely for this reason that men are not so emotional — they simply do not have extra energy for violent emotions, they often have business, goals and meanings.

So, the list of our problem states — in the studio!

Depression

Next to the serious causes of depression, it always makes sense to look for domestic domestic benefits.

In modern culture, «depression» has become fashionable. «Oh, you know, I’m depressed!» — and the girl, tired of life, rolls her eyes. Most of all depressions are among the inhabitants of the most civilized countries of Europe. In countries where you need to constantly work in the fields and earn food, depression is extremely rare.

V.O., a UPP student, writes: “After the training, I began to observe my emotional habits and ask myself the question, why am I allowing myself to do this now? I periodically have a state of depression, which I turn on in order to allow myself to do nothing. Perhaps you can allow yourself sometimes to do nothing and not cause yourself depression for this. A good alternative is to formulate rest periods with heartfelt pleasure.”

Sadness

In the synton approach, sadness is understood as an authorial action, as a small murder of one’s own vitality, petty mental self-mutilation. A child who did not like what his parents said to him may well drop his shoulders unhappily, make an unhappy face with an expression of suffering and go into the distance, barely dragging his feet and showing with his whole being how nasty parents destroyed his joy and deprived him of desire in this world. rejoice and live in general… This is a performance that is quite common and, as a rule, effective. Over time, it becomes just a bad habit of internal negativity.

Diffidence

Behind uncertainty is usually the position of the Victim and the internal benefit — attracting attention to yourself, counting on the fact that someone will help you, take on some of your difficulties, give you confidence. Ask yourself the hard question: what are your benefits in your state of insecurity… Does it help you do nothing day after day? Don’t make decisions? Avoid tension, sit quietly in a depressed state, but in front of the TV, and then attract the attention of others by talking about your difficult personal difficulties? ↑

Resentment

Resentment is not an innate emotion. Children learn to be offended in order to get their way from their parents faster. In adults, the purpose of resentment sometimes lies on the surface and is understandable: as a rule, this is pressure on a person’s feelings. Sometimes a person himself does not immediately understand the hidden meaning of his resentment, but a careful analysis, as a rule, reveals the conditional benefit of resentment. See Why People Get Offended

Cry

I was the youngest child and my parents always took pity on me. I remember very well that until some time I skillfully used the emotions of pity, fear and despair, causing people to feel guilty. If you ask very, very much, cry very, very much, make a pitiful face, then they will definitely give me what I wanted. It seems that this childhood habit, like automatism, is still present in me.

At the end of last summer, I slipped in the bathroom, fell and hit my head very hard on the sink. The blow fell on my forehead, and the next day my face was very swollen and swollen. By that time, I had already completed the course of the World of Emotions and had a philosophical attitude to changes in appearance. She came to the hospital in a calm mood and, as expected, was waiting for her turn. I read the book with interest and observed the patients. I didn’t have any negative emotions then, no self-pity, no despair, no fear. I understood that for a couple of weeks I would not be able to go to work and would work remotely.

When I entered the office, the doctor examined me. But when I asked him for sick leave, the doctor refused me, arguing that with such problems, release is given only to public people, such as the president and his deputy.

This is where a strange thing happened. I burst into tears, it was so fast and sudden. I did not even have time to feel sorry for myself, it seemed to me that this happened almost involuntarily automatically. I aroused pity for myself, made a pitiful face and pose and burst into tears in front of the doctor … I left the office with inner glee and joy, and most importantly — with a sick leave for a week. Although cats scratched in my soul — it was a feeling of shame for my unrestrained emotions.

Only later, when I analyzed my behavior, I realized how my emotions do not fit together. I had a choice, to calmly agree with the doctor, to tell that I work with people and they won’t let me go to work in this form, in the end, put up with it, take a vacation, for example. But I did as I did in childhood — burst into tears and got what I wanted.

Problems

Children do not use the word Problem. Growing up, children begin to actively use this concept when they need to worry, relieve themselves of responsibility and attract attention. See Benefits of Problems

Psychosomatics

Once my sister found my daughter, who was admonishing her sister’s daughter. The eldest cousin was five years old, the youngest three and a half. If you don’t want to do something, say that your heart hurts! my daughter said.

Frustration and despair

The habit of getting upset and despairing has its own, both real and internal benefits:

• you can throw the case (it still doesn’t work!). Good for the tired and lazy.
• it’s convenient to defend yourself from accusations (“I’m already upset, and you are still climbing with comments!”) See Emotions: psychological defense
• attracting attention (they begin to calm and persuade not to get upset), see Hysteroid
• works as a manipulative request for help (“a person in a difficult situation needs help!”).

Fear

As well as behind the self-doubt, behind the fear is usually the position of the Victim. Fear, as a rule, objectively prevents you from doing something, and you can use it to your advantage. By showing your fear, you can shift a difficult decision or case to someone more courageous.

If I’m scared and you’re not, then it’s harder for me and easier for you. And you brave must help me.

Like any complex internal state, fear allows you to evoke sympathy from others and attract attention to yourself.

Especially fear is often used by women — from the point of view of society, men should not be afraid, but for women this is quite acceptable.

Yes, it can be difficult to face the fearful. But if you indulge your fear, then gradually it will become a habit, a way of life. And then, even if you strongly want to overcome your fear, it may not be possible for you. Do you really want to get there?

Other problematic conditions

There is evidence that both children and adults adopt from others, if it is beneficial for them, other problematic conditions, such as alcoholism, swagger in behavior, and even schizophrenia.