Practicing clinical psychologist, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league, Gevondyan Maria Eduardovna.
— How to learn to accept yourself with acne and blackheads?
Acne may be the result of an emotional state, not its cause. In order to accept yourself with imperfections, you need to accept your emotional state, which caused acne. Long before acne appears, people experience emotions such as shame, anxiety, fear, guilt, embarrassment, awkwardness, anxiety.
The most important thing is not to suppress or close any emotions that are present, but rather to live them. When we notice them, accept them, live them, then the process of self-healing begins, of course, in combination with a properly selected systematic approach. Acceptance of yourself and your imperfections comes in direct proportion to the acceptance of your emotional state and understanding that you need to work with it. Acceptance of personal emotions is acceptance of oneself.
I recommend the following technique for living your emotions:
- Feel the emotion.
- Name it (fear, shame, embarrassment, etc.).
- Record on paper.
– How to respond to unsolicited obvious advice in the spirit of “go to a dermatologist”?
Of course, at any time, unsolicited advice was not appreciated and caused violent negative emotions. There is a psychological defense – resistance. Most importantly, don’t make excuses. Tactfully answer: “Thank you, if I need help, I’ll contact you,” change the subject, don’t take it personally, because people always have something to say. Remember that to a great extent, people who seek advice need it themselves.
“I get bullied because of acne. What to do?
Bullying, unfortunately, can be on any ground, especially in adolescence. It is important to understand that bullying is not your fault. Therefore, try to give measured, clear answers to offenders, do not show that you are weaker, I understand that this is difficult. Therefore, I return to the beginning, I need to work out my emotions, because the best defense against any bullying (verbal) is ignoring and self-confidence. If bullying goes beyond words, don’t be afraid and share it with loved ones.
– I’m tired of constant relapses. How not to quit treatment when hands down?
Any therapy is a dynamic process with ups and downs. The most important thing is not to lose sight of the important goal for which you started the path of fighting acne. Write it on a piece of paper or on your phone so that you have constant eye contact with the target, which will help you not give up during a period of despair. Also, in order to avoid relapses, it is imperative to maintain your emotional state on a positive wave, since the presence of fear of acne recurrence can contribute to relapse.
How to stop dwelling on imperfections when you look at yourself in the mirror?
It would be right at the time of treatment to shorten the process of looking at yourself in the mirror. Very often, starting treatment, we want instant results. It does not come and we get negative emotions and stress, which can slow down the treatment.
We spend a lot of time with ourselves and know every flaw in our body, but the people who meet us see our whole image, and not specific parts of our body – crooked nose, cheeks and / or acne. Therefore, try to notice the positives in yourself. I propose to write down on a piece of paper 10 virtues in appearance that you value in yourself, 10 spiritual virtues that you value in yourself.
– How to overcome the obsessive desire to squeeze out inflammatory elements?
Squeezing out the inflammatory elements, what result do you want to achieve? And what result will you achieve after you squeeze it out? Does it suit you? – whenever these thoughts visit you, ask yourself these questions, you will turn on rational introspection and the desire will disappear.
— I am ashamed to wear revealing clothes because of the acne on my body. What to do?
This suggests that your personal boundaries are not built or are built incorrectly, because your idea of uXNUMXbuXNUMXbself has been formed through the prism of the perception of the people around you. It can also say that a sense of control in communication has been lost or not formed. You don’t know what to expect from people, and thus you think of a negative scenario if you wear revealing clothes.
You need to form a true image of yourself without the prism of the people around you, which is most likely illusory. You also need to learn to build personal boundaries, separating yourself from others. Work on the control of the situation, that is, what you can control – that is, control yourself, and not the thoughts and feelings of other people.
My friends have perfect skin. How to feel confident in their company?
If your confidence comes from feelings of envy (I have acne and she/he is lucky with skin), then you need to get rid of this negative feeling, replacing it with a positive one. If your uncertainty comes from the feeling that in this world only your problem has enormous weight, then I suggest discussing it with friends. Then you will understand that people have a lot of things in the world and each person focuses on their shortcomings, because we look at ourselves in detail, and people look at us in general terms. It is important not to compare yourself with other people, but to compare yourself today with yourself yesterday.
“I don’t think I will ever get rid of acne. How not to lose hope?
Remember that acne is a temporary problem. I recommend joining a community in which people who have gotten rid of acne tell their path, motivate people who have just encountered this problem.
– How to stop photoshopping yourself to the state of perfect skin?
It is important to understand that Photoshop will not solve your problem, but will instead create destructive thoughts, the illusion of reality, deceit and self-deception, which, in turn, will lead to apathy and stress, which can significantly worsen the current condition of the skin of the face.
It is necessary to admit the idea that you are you, an individual and unique person who has the right to imperfections.
3 life hacks to maintain self-esteem
— Please share 3-5 rules (life hacks) on how to maintain self-esteem?
1. Complete the sentences:
I am proud of myself when…
I trust my…
I am proud of myself when…
The most incredible thing I have ever done…
2. Write in your diary your strengths. – 20 points of what you like about yourself. And replenish the list daily by 5 points.
3. Start noticing your accomplishments. Make a list of what you have achieved in 10 years. Everything that you fix on paper is fixed in memory.
What to do in a stressful situation to calm down?
What are the first 3 things you need to do in a stressful situation to calm down / not break loose?
1. Write down what outcome you want to achieve.
Keep the note in a visible place, such as a sticker on the refrigerator. And whenever you want to give up, read your entry.
2. In the most stressful situation, I recommend breathing in a square.
Breathing for 4 counts:
- 4 counts inhale;
- 4 accounts pause;
- 4 counts exhale;
- 4 counts pause.
Repeat 30-60 times.
3. Grounding technique, helps with stress and anxiety.
Try to find 5 things that you can fix your visual attention on:
- 4 things you can touch;
- 3 things you will be able to hear;
- 2 things you can smell;
- 1 thing you can try.