Contents
Emotional performance — is it good or bad?
download video
Intrinsic benefits are the benefits behind (seemingly) irrational, problem behaviors or problem states. This is what seemingly completely irrational, inappropriate actions are done for, the reason that people often create problems for themselves, strive to experience them and resist psychotherapy.
As a rule, internal benefits are behind most of the negative emotions.
“The last time I was offended by a young man, because he fell asleep in the theater. In fact, I wanted to punish him, because when he fell asleep, he stopped distracting me, I only became more comfortable, but I didn’t tell him that. Plus: when he woke up and saw my offense, he was well-behaved at half-time, bought me a lot of sandwiches and was generally very nice. After the theater, he apologized for a couple more hours, and the sex was very violent.
Internal benefits are actively involved in the creation and maintenance of most problematic states and negative experiences: psychosomatic disorders, depression, self-doubt, resentment, crying, fears, upset habits, and so on. To treat all these conditions without removing the internal benefits is rather pointless: in the presence of an internal interest, resentment, depression and fears soon return again …
Training effectively develops obedience and fixed behaviors. At least such training does not produce creativity. And if the mother has an internal benefit to remain a helpless mother, all the results of training will soon be destroyed.
download video
Intrinsic benefits are either primary or secondary. Primary — what a person wanted from the very beginning, intentionally, secondary — what keeps a person in the problematic state that he received. Internal benefits are rational (it seems to a person that it is beneficial), psychological (irrational, he himself does not understand why it is bad without it — as a rule, these are problematic dynamics) and outdated (a person comes from some old habits and attitudes). It is easiest to change behavior if there are outdated internal benefits behind it, it is most difficult to work with psychological, irrational internal benefits. See →
How to Respond to Problematic Internal Benefits
How to respond to fear, if there is a benefit to being afraid behind it? How to respond to resentment, if resentment is beneficial? See →
Working with internal benefits
As a rule, in ordinary communication, internal benefit is hardly recognized externally, but in working with a psychologist the situation is different.
It is better if the client himself tells his internal benefits. With a reasonable person, you can talk about it directly (“How do you understand what attracts you internally to smoking, what keeps you from quitting?”, if the client has developed negativism, you can try to advocate for his problematic behavior. “Not everyone should stop smoking, as a person may lose the only way to relax and communicate. «If a person then becomes thoughtful about something, slow down so that he himself tells what attracts him to smoking. Another technique is to give examples: «some people are afraid get involved in a conflict, for example, they are afraid that they can scare their loved ones, ..”, so that a person has the opportunity to respond without experiencing negativity.
Gagin: “Do not insist on a choice, train your brain to think in terms of how to connect, not how to choose. Look for options to combine benefits and healthy behavior: there are options, there are options. While we are talking, maybe a person will have a desire to pick up something, and you say: this will not stop until you combine it together inside yourself (telling your husband and not getting reactions, sorting out the queue and with the girl). We give examples. More specifically. If there is no ready-made example from the past, speak, direct the train of thought. Slowly, this piggy bank appears until it appears — you compose on the go. The main thing is to keep your head in place. The traditional conclusion to such a consultation is an insight into the client.”
Psychoanalysis of intrinsic benefits
Psychoanalysis of intrinsic benefits is the explanation of problematic or erroneous human behavior by unconscious, intrinsic benefits. Mom swears at her daughter «loafer», but she herself does not let her daughter work. Why? Because in fact, she is unconsciously afraid of the independence of her daughter, who can leave her alone. See →
Examples of Consulting Cases with Internal Benefit Analysis
- Life situations when it is beneficial to fall asleep