Intensive course for those who want to date

“Evening after night, after putting the kids to bed, I studied as if I had signed up for an Open University course on how to communicate with people. The children seemed to feel that I had started something grandiose, and they treated my undertaking with due respect. In any case, Mabel, bursting into my bedroom at midnight to complain about a terrible dream, whispered: “I’m sorry, mommy, but I dreamed that a huge ant bit off my ear,” and she respectfully looked sideways from under her scattered hair at my bed , littered with stacks of tattered Talmuds. I didn’t forget about Twitter either, so pretty soon my following grew to an incredible 437 people.

I started, of course, from my archive – from the ageless classics that I used two decades ago: “All men are from Mars, all women are from Venus”, “How to find love”, “How to make love find you by itself What Men Want, What Men Really Want, What Men Really Want, What Men Deeply Want, How Men Think, What Men Think When They Don’t Think about sex.”

But somehow all this was not enough for me, and I climbed on Amazon. There, I came across a seventy-five-page list of tutorials and dating guides to choose from. “Loneliness: how to avoid it and find true love”, “Sample of a trouble-free online questionnaire for those who want to meet”, “Meet four times more!”, “How to find your only one – an integrated approach. A guide for single mothers”, “How to make him beg you for a date in 6 days”, “100% result: how to find your only love in 7 simple steps. Scientific approach”, “Love without fear: 8 simple rules for those who want to successfully meet and maintain relationships before marriage and after”, “Laws of love: 9 basic rules for a long-term relationship”, “10 lessons in love based on the series “Sex and the City”, “How to Get His Attention: The 12 Best Conversational Dating Topics”, “20 Rules for Online Dating”, “The Red Flag Rule”. How to know what is better: to keep a relationship or break up? ), The Old Rules for Online Dating (other authors), The Unwritten Rules for Dating, The Unspoken Rules for Dating, The Spiritual Rules for Dating, Relationships, and Sex, Changing the Rules!, Love Has No Rules , “When you need to break the rules in order to succeed”, “Date, intercourse, romance: what rules can there be?”, “Basic rule: no rules!”, “Anti-rules: well, he is yours. How to get rid of him now? get married”, “Your strategy”, “Second date: what to say and do on the first date to guarantee a second date”, “How to get a third date”, “Your dreams: a third date, and what to do next”, “How to get Fifth Date After Fourth Date and Sex”, “Fifth Date: Barrier Taken, What’s Next?”, “When Mars and Venus Collide”, “The Art of Dating: Strategy and Tactics”, “Dating: What to Do When Things Go Wrong?” (Help Guide), “Dating Dead Men”, “Romantic Suicide”, “Dating: It’s Easy!”

At first glance, it may seem that the listed books contradict each other, but they are not. Recognized authorities in the field of dating see many things in the same way, differing only in minor details. In search of coincidences and common ideas, I carefully studied the books, making notes and writing out something, comparing the points of view of the authors, like the most important world religions or philosophical systems, discarding the secondary and highlighting the main thing. As a result, I got a kind of “dry residue”, which I formulated for myself in the form of a short set of rules.

Read more:

• Start life from scratch with Bridget Jones

Dating rules

• Never send text messages from drunken eyes.
• Keep your head high in all circumstances.
• Don’t freak out.
• Don’t be late.
• Be natural and sincere in communication (if possible).
• Arrive where the appointment is, and not elsewhere.
• Do not put a man in an awkward position, try to behave adequately, rationally and consistently.
• Do not fantasize and do not get hung up on anything.
• Responding to what is actually happening, not what I think is happening.
• On the first date, agree to all his proposals (unless he offers to dance morris, go to dog fights or have sex).
• Make sure you’re really good with him.
• Try to remain objective (to the best of your ability).
• When a man appears, we rejoice; when he leaves, we let him go.
• Do not get drunk until you lose your mind, do not take psychostimulants.
• Try in any circumstances to maintain the serene calmness of the goddess, who has eternity in store.
• Never rush things. Let them develop naturally, like a lotus flower. (i.e. don’t panic and try to arrange a third date while you’re having sex on a second date.)
• On dates, dress sexy but comfortable.
• Remain calm, confident and focused on Everything in General. (Possible means: meditation, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, stress-reducing meditation practices.)
• Don’t be too outspoken. Get your way with the help of allegories and subtle hints, for example, you can run your fingers up and down the stem of the glass.
• Do not prepare the first sex in advance.
• Don’t try to get sex as soon as possible.
• Don’t let him feel like he’s being led into a trap.
• In a conversation, never mention ex-husbands and lovers, your overweight, feelings of insecurity, domestic or financial problems, cellulite, Botox, liposuction, peeling, braces, laser correction, abrasive cleaning, etc., shapewear, the possibility of getting by with one car when you get married, how best to seat guests at your wedding, about babysitters, and about the religious aspects of marriage (unless he is a Mormon polygamist, in which case you should kick yourself outrageously and try to be as detailed as possible discuss all of the above points with him, and then apologize and leave as soon as possible under the pretext of needing to let the babysitter go).
• Keep only good memories.

Of course, all this useful knowledge was mostly theoretical – something like a sage who sat in the Ivory Tower (in a real Ivory Tower, and not on a dating site of the same name), pondering how to live correctly, although he himself never encountered real life. All my rules were based on a rather modest experience that I had with Mr. Leatherjacket. Analyzing my mistakes in the light of my newfound knowledge, however, I not only managed to cope with the oppressive feeling of my own incompetence and worthlessness, but also convinced that all was not lost (if anything was found at all), and if with Mr. I didn’t succeed, this does not mean at all that I will also fail with other men.

However, there was one more subsection in my project – RULES YOU NEED TO OBSERVE TO GET A DATE. Unfortunately, not a single item appeared in it.