Contents
Dear colleagues!
A little about infantilism.
From correspondence with a girl
You know, I adequately understand all your judgments and advice, BUT how to introduce them into your life, how to teach them to behave correctly and deliberately, and not as usual? because in emergency situations you forget about everything and give in to emotions that do not always lead to good things!!!!
Answer:
Ksenia, if girls are brought up by other girls, namely their mothers, then the girls really only know how to understand, but they are not accustomed to do what has been said. That is, they perform only when they want, according to their mood. If a girl is brought up not only by her mother, but also by her father, she brings up like a man, then the girl begins to understand that if she was told to do it, then it really needs to be done. (see →) And she does, doesn’t forget about anything and doesn’t give in to emotions without asking. Becomes an adult.
If you set yourself the task of compensating for what you weren’t given enough in your upbringing, I’m sure you can do it.
Social causes of infantilism
Children grow up correctly when they are supported by both maternal-feminine and paternal-male principles in education (see →). Today in Russian society there is a clear bias towards the feminine and, as a result, infantilism.
The government does not really know which of the citizens it wants to raise, and does not set clear goals. The population has no ideals and does not really believe that they can do anything. Religion also does not perform a male educational function, while there is money, the TV works, the war does not bother, you can relax and have fun.
Power in the family is lost by men — see →
Reasonable caution turns into cowardly fears: “Oh, stress!”, “Oh, psychotrauma!”, And the boys grow up without understanding that life is demanding and tough.
Children are brought up more and more in an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance, which is wonderful in itself, but without paternal exactingness next to it turns into promiscuity and permissiveness. The words discipline, coercion and control have become abusive, only motivation, support for the child and faith in him are allowed.
And the more children shake the situation, the more parents feel that they have not given their children love and support!
In which case, both children and parents go to psychotherapists, many of whom tend to focus even more on unconditional love and the need for acceptance … See →
So what to do?
Remove distortions, restore the harmony of the male and female principles. Specifically, agree that:
- love is not equal to unconditional acceptance and necessarily includes reasonable exactingness,
- education includes not only passion and conversation, but also deliberate coercion,
- life is not only pleasant, but also tough, there is always loss, death and war. And to be ready for this is natural and necessary.
- a psychologist is not always a darling and a sweetheart, but, when necessary, a tough enforcer.
Only when we agree with this, together we will be able to build a world in which there is no war, there is a lot of sun and people love each other.
So? Not so?
Once again, good luck everyone!
Sincerely, prof. Nikolay Ivanovich Kozlov