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Individual conversation with a child: rules, psychology
Talking to your child will help you get closer to your baby, gather enough information about him, support and help him. At any age, children are very vulnerable and sensitive, so any conversation should be conducted with extreme caution.
General rules for individual conversation
During the conversation, both you and the baby should be comfortable. To do this, you must observe many nuances.
The conversation with the child should be confidential.
Here are the main ones:
- Be kind and considerate. Start a conversation with a smile, sincere praise of the other person. Be sure to maintain eye contact, show interest in the interlocutor. At the same time, avoid pressure so that the child does not think that you are trying to rudely climb into his soul. Watch your hands and facial expressions all the time.
- Stay in your comfort zone and do not violate your interlocutor’s comfort zone. Do not think that the child does not have it.
- Build your interrogative sentences in such a way that you get positive answers more often.
- Constantly involve the baby in dialogue, make sure that his answers are not monosyllabic. At the same time, keep the initiative in conducting the conversation.
- Relieve mental stress. To do this, talk about the topic that interests him the most.
- Constantly observe yourself from the sidelines and be critical of yourself. Remember that a mistake on your part can destroy trust.
Be sure to remember these tips, they will help you in communicating not only with your children, but also with any people.
Questions as the main tool of conversation
Conversation is impossible without questions. Before starting it, clearly think about what you will ask the child. Each question should have a purpose. Start with more general questions and gradually move to narrow ones to find out what interests you. Regardless of the age of the child, choose short and clear questions, there should be a logical transition between them.
Never interrupt your child and try to ask him in such a way that he cannot simply answer “yes” or “no”.
Be prepared for the fact that in the dialogue you will not only ask questions. Make sure you get it right before answering. To do this, you can rephrase the question in your own words. Answer the questions posed as clearly and completely as possible, do not ignore them and do not play around, if you do not know the answer, it is better to honestly admit it. Just as you thought out the plan for the questions, think over the plan for the answers, because you can roughly imagine what the child will ask you about.
The ability to listen is appreciated in any person. It’s not as easy as it sounds, this skill needs to be learned. In the process of listening, constantly encourage the interlocutor with nods of your head, the words “uh-huh”, “yes-yes” and so on. Don’t be distracted by anything. Even simply drawing patterns on paper during a conversation can distract and upset a child.
Follow the rules for talking with your baby
Be observant as you listen. Follow not only the baby’s words, but also his gestures, facial expressions. Be patient. Prepare enough time for the conversation in advance so as not to rush the baby or interrupt him.
Repeat the words of the interlocutor periodically, and also use the so-called self-messages, for example, “I heard”, “I understood.” You can ask clarifying questions, the main thing is that they do not interrupt the main speech of the interlocutor.
Conversation will be effective only if it moves in a given pattern. Your dialogue should have a plot, a climax, and a denouement. Here’s a rough outline:
- Support your child. Show interest in him, help him start talking. At this stage, use neutral words and calm intonation.
- Clarify the situation. This will help you get more information about the problem. Ask more questions.
- Show your child that you understand what this is about. Be interested. Repeat the thoughts of the interlocutor, paraphrasing them, highlight the main phrases.
- Show your child that you understand their feelings. Rephrase the other person again, focusing on feelings and emotions. Help your little one reevaluate their feelings at this stage. A good phrase for this: “I think it makes you very upset (surprises, saddens, etc.)”. So the baby will look at the emotion from the side.
- Summarize what you heard. Collect all the main facts and thoughts that were expressed in the dialogue.
- The final stage. Demonstrate respect for the other person and their feelings, and tell them that you appreciate their willingness to resolve the issue.
A one-on-one conversation will go well if you can reach an understanding at every stage.
Psychology tricks to help you
Do not rely only on yourself, trust psychologists and their methods.
If you are parents, then you definitely need to understand child psychology.
There are 3 interesting psychological techniques that can help you build a constructive dialogue with a child of any age.
- The mirror of relationships. They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul, in this case the face is the mirror of the relationship. A smile is the main password to a baby’s heart. Remember that a kind and gentle facial expression simply shouts to your interlocutor: “I am a friend!”. Such a person wants to open up. When communicating with a positive adult, the child himself becomes more positive.
- Gold words. In this case, we are talking about compliments. Don’t be afraid to make them for your baby. You may slightly exaggerate the child’s abilities. The main thing is that the complements sound natural. Do not use compliments with double meanings, that is, do not emphasize the qualities of the baby, which can be both positive and negative. Also, a compliment should state the fact, and not contain advice or even more a claim. Remember, the most effective compliment is one that comes against the backdrop of an anti-compliment to yourself.
- Patient listener. This is one of the most important psychological techniques. The child will be frank only with those who listen to him attentively, patiently, without interrupting.
These tricks seem simple, but they really work. Try them out while communicating.
The psychology of children is a complex thing, so you will most likely make mistakes. Do not be intimidated by them, be able to admit that you are wrong and continue to look for an approach to the baby through communication.