The fact that someone may not want to have sex is no longer particularly surprising to us — after all, many books have been written about the phenomenon of asexuality and no less films have been made. Another question is what to do with it. Is it necessary to treat the reluctance of intimacy? And where can this «trend» lead us?
Should asexuality be treated?
In the professional community, the opinions of sexologists about asexuality are divided. Some are sure that this is a manifestation of mental or hormonal dysfunction. Others believe that this is a conscious choice of a person. I count myself among the first.
The concept of variability lies at the center of the science of sexology. Asexuality is one of the manifestations of human sexuality. Mental dysfunction is a condition that interferes with the life of either the client himself or those around him. From this point of view, it is also difficult to call asexuality a dysfunction. But there are a number of psychopathologies that, without reducing the quality of life, are still considered deviations.
It happens that people are not worried about their condition, everything suits them. Not a single asexual will come to a specialist and ask for help: he does not have such a need. However, the absence of a need does not mean that everything is in order. During sex there is a hormonal reboot of the body. Sex is our animal nature. It was and remains the best workout for the endocrine system.
Therefore, asexuality is both the norm and not the norm.
The concept of «norm» is very conditional — in each society it has its own. However, numerous studies show that the lower the sexual fulfillment and satisfaction, the higher the manifestation of psychopathology. And vice versa.
Why do we become asexual?
So far, the topic of asexuality has been little studied, but the trend is obvious — the number of sexual relationships and sexual desire among the younger generation is declining, especially in developed countries. This is largely due to gadgetization and digitalization.
Now we get fast dopamine not from sex, but from computer games. Even sex has become virtual: why leave the house when all the pleasures can be obtained from the comfort of the couch? Predictions say that in about a hundred years, humanity will stop having sex altogether. I don’t really believe in it, but there is a trend.
Many refuse sex simply because the sensations of it are unpleasant and do not bring pleasure.
This can happen for many reasons. Sexual sensitivity begins to form in early infancy, during contact with the mother. Then the baby does not yet have emotions, but the first experience of tactility is already there. Contact with the mother causes pleasant bodily sensations, so the more tactility in the first months of life, the better the receptors develop throughout the body. The less tactility, the more difficult it is to form sexuality, and in the future — any kind of attachment.
The next stage in the formation of sexuality is puberty. The process no longer takes place in isolation, but in a certain environment: parents, friends, grandparents and other relatives. They broadcast to us certain norms, rules, restrictions and prohibitions, and most importantly, their own attitude towards sex.
For example, being in a strongly religious environment can lead to sexual problems, as children have been told that sex is bad.
Already in adulthood, this can form a deep emotional rejection of sex, and also lead to a lack of libido, increased sexual anxiety, in girls — anorgasmia and vaginismus.
In any case, in order to evaluate any condition and understand whether it is really a conscious choice or such a path is dictated by hormonal disorders or deprivation in childhood, an in-depth clinical conversation and analysis of the hormonal status is necessary.