Do you know this word – “ikigai”? So the Japanese call something that allows them to get up in the morning with joy. By determining what it is for you, you will make your life more interesting. Three exercises will help you with this.
The word “ikigai” does not have an exact translation. It is formed by a combination of the roots iki – “life” and gai – “value”. Literally, it can be translated as “what is worth living for.”
The Japanese believe that everyone has their own ikigai or even several, but we are not always aware of it. This main life interest, the feeling of one’s destiny changes over time, at 15 and at 70 it can be different.
Therefore, at every stage of life, it is useful to reconnect with your ikigai. If we do not do this, we get the impression that we have gone astray and have fallen under the control of external forces.
Ikigai is the antidote for depression. Some researchers point to a link between having ikigai and lower stress levels. And coaches use this concept to help clients find their calling and discover their talents.
Of course, this is not always easy: in the midst of everyday worries, we forget to listen to ourselves. That’s why creativity coach Christy Vanbremersh advises to arouse curiosity and seek discovery.
Here are three of her exercises to help you find your ikigai.
1. Cultivate creativity
Creativity has three components:
- what we love to do the most;
- something to which we show superpowers,
- and finally, what we do easily and with inspiration.
In other words, it is an occupation in which we excel because we have the necessary competencies or because we have the ability. It brings pleasure and makes sense to us.
To develop your creativity, take a notebook, a pen and a colored felt-tip pen.
- Write down with a pen on the spread of a double sheet all those positive qualities that the environment ascribes to you, or those that you yourself have noticed in yourself since childhood. Paper space should be completely filled – do not limit yourself to general phrases for fear of appearing too immodest or because you are not confident in yourself. Think of all the talents, qualities, competencies that teachers, family, friends, colleagues, clients have seen and talked about in you. After you write it all down in black and white, move on to the second step.
- Identify and highlight with a colored felt-tip pen those three qualities that you can’t do without, they truly characterize you. Christie Vanbremersh chose the following: 1. Challenge yourself. 2. Sense of humor. 3. The ability to write sincere and smart texts. To these three qualities, she also added what her grandmother told her: “You are sympathetic.”
2. Return to the childhood dream
Most of the people interviewed by Christie Vanbremersh recalled that their gift, or ikigai, emerged during childhood or adolescence. At this time, the need to choose a profession does not interfere with the imagination. The child imagines that in the future he will become a kind doctor, saving animals, a writer, a pilot, an inventor …
The benefit of these fantasies is that they reflect not only innermost desires, but also the abilities and skills corresponding to them. Unfortunately, adults often consider children’s or adolescent ikigai to be only a dream – especially if the competencies required to realize it do not seem useful for a “serious” profession in the future. Take your notebook and pen again.
- Before moving on to the notes, mentally go back to childhood, to adolescence – in search of what really fascinated, brought pleasure and what you had the ability to do. Do not attach too much importance to formally important events – focus better on what caused you a vivid response. Books, storytelling, cooking, gardening, caring for others, painting, drawing, design, music, sports, conflict resolution, studying…
- Once you feel connected to your ikigai, write down five things: things you enjoyed doing. Try to determine how it was useful for you. Then think about how the environment (family, friends, teachers) treated these hobbies.
- Ask yourself how these activities still make you feel (they motivate you; you wish you didn’t do it anymore; you don’t care…). Do they play any role in your life today or no longer.
- Finally, if you regret not doing it anymore, think about how you can bring these activities back into your life.
3. Ask for your envy
Envy has a positive side: it shows us in others what we would like to have ourselves, and reveals innermost desires. If you are tormented by endless envy, then it should be studied in order to use it as a springboard. Here is how to work with it:
- Draw three columns on a piece of paper or notebook.
- In the first column, write down three reasons for being jealous. Do not hold back – it is not surprising that you experience a feeling of embarrassment and shame when you formulate your “dark” sides on paper. Think of people, acquaintances, or celebrities who have something that could make your life more colorful and meaningful.
- In the second column, write down the innermost desire hidden in your envy.
- In the third column, decipher what you can do to fulfill this innermost desire, what steps you can take in this direction.