Do you ever feel like your day was completely wasted? It seems that they were doing something, they were constantly busy, but there was no result … Most often this happens for two reasons: either you have taken too much on yourself, or others simply steal your time. In other words, you probably don’t know how to say «no.» Here’s how to learn it.
Start saying no to yourself
Taking breaks from work from time to time is a healthy desire. Some use these pauses to warm up, others to browse social networks, and still others to watch videos on YouTube.
Let’s say your option is the third. Watch a couple of videos to switch and relax — why not. But if you get too carried away, you can soon find that it is night outside, and you have not done anything.
It is also important to understand here: if the behavior is brought to automatism, it is extremely difficult to change it. The hand itself reaches for the YouTube tab (or for the TV remote control, or for the bag of chips). How to change it?
- set technical limits (if possible)
- form a healthy habit
With the first one, everything is quite simple: you can install a special application on your computer and other gadgets that will report that you spend too much time on the Internet in general or on a specific page, and block further access.
If this option does not suit you for some reason, the only thing left is to form a healthy replacement habit. Sit down and write a list of what you can replace watching a video with (there should be something not only pleasant, but also more useful, so scrolling through the social media feed is not suitable). For example: “If I feel the urge to quit everything and start watching funny videos, I’d rather read a chapter of this interesting book.”
It is important to identify both the problem itself and the most specific, feasible action. It may sound strange and even primitive, but it works — simply because we need specific instructions, a clear plan.
Learn to say «no» to others
It’s sad but true that many people don’t realize how valuable time is. And in general, and yours in particular. And thoughtlessly squander it. And you allow them to do this, although you have your own desires and goals. Even if you yourself want to be distracted.
For example, you want to hang out with your friends. Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, suggests asking yourself, “Did I work hard enough today? Did I deserve this free time? Honestly answered «yes» — go and enjoy the fellowship. «No» — politely decline the invitation.
This will help you stay on course and allow others to clearly explain your motivation (and they will most likely appreciate it).
Time is not infinite
If we do not try to control what we spend time on, it flows like sand through our fingers, and we never achieve anything. This does not mean that we do not need to rest at all, just that rest also needs to be planned and try not to go beyond.
Learn to deny yourself. Learn to refuse others. It’s not as hard as it sounds, and with the right motivation, you won’t have to feel guilty every time. That’s enough theory — move on to practice.