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Are you confused and don’t know what to do next? You may have recently gone through a divorce or separation, you were fired, or you graduated from high school. It doesn’t matter what happened. You feel it’s time to figure out what to do with your life. To get through a difficult period of doubt and uncertainty, a family therapist advises remembering three things.
Family therapist Jennifer Twardowski is sure that it is enough to adhere to three principles, and our life will improve. Let’s talk about what we are talking about.
1. There is no perfect life
No one succeeds in everything at once. Everyone has their own difficulties. Even someone familiar with a stunning career, obedient children and a wealthy husband has problems. Even a friend who recently got married and moved south is not doing well.
Do not envy someone else’s life, even if it seems happy. We should not relax, thinking that we have finally overcome all the difficulties: most often in such cases, obstacles arise on the way. Sharp turns are an integral part of life, we cannot avoid them. If you catch yourself thinking “everyone is fine except for me”, this impression is deceptive.
2. Deadlines are an illusion
You do not need to plan your professional activities step by step before you start working. You don’t have to know exactly what you want out of life to find the right partner. Life is a process of exploration and discovery. Allow yourself to develop and become better by trying and learning new things. Sometimes new hobbies stay with us for a long time, sometimes they don’t. It does not matter.
Many of us take life too seriously, and this is our problem.
If something doesn’t go the way we hoped, we fall into despair. We tell ourselves we’re no good, admit defeat, and stop trying new things.
But everything comes with practice. Often we make plans that do not work, and actions end in failure — and so what? It’s not the end of the world, moreover, it’s a necessary experience. Only this helps to develop a new effective plan. Life is a journey, not a plan.
3. The main thing is to enjoy the present
When we try to understand ourselves, we are distracted from living in the present moment. And if something good happens, if new opportunities arise, we do not notice it. Stop forcing yourself to «clean up» your life. Allow yourself to enjoy life here and now. Allow yourself to just be, please yourself with pleasant little things: a cup of coffee and a good book, an evening walk, dinner with a close friend.
When we stop, relax and allow ourselves to enjoy what we have, we join the natural flow of life.
This allows you to better understand what decisions to make. Stop for a moment and look inside yourself. Are you frustrated that life isn’t perfect? Understand what is the cause of the disorder, and ask yourself: how to get rid of the need to be perfect? What can I do every day to get rid of the tension I create? You’ll see, this will work.