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If you control your mobile messages it is not love, it is something else
Gender
If your partner peeks at your WhatsApp messages, controls who your new friend is on Facebook, or closely follows up on Instagram posts, you should nip those behaviors in the bud. We are talking about obsessive controlling behaviors, behind which are jealousy and lack of self-esteem and that can end in behaviors of psychological abuse on the partner.
With these ingredients, love, in the end, ends up being a symptom of unhappiness: for those who spy because they live a insecurity relationship constant, manipulation and disrespect; the spied sees his personal freedom, his space within the couple, suppressed.
The psychologist Pilar Conde, technical director of Clinicas Origen, explains that the social groups most vulnerable to this toxic behavior are young people and adolescents, because their self-esteem, their security and their image and personal identity are under construction. Also, as they have learned to relate through the networkss, they place a lot of value on what happens through these channels, whether it is true or not.
In this way, common social networks seriously affect some young couples. The controlling member needs absolute control. In more extreme cases, it requires knowing passwords and reading conversations, totally eliminating privacy and the space of each individual. In adults there is a similar pattern, clarifies the professional, but WhatsApp messages are the ones that most frequently cause disputes and disagreements.
Love addiction is something that can be overcome. The most important thing is to be able to identify certain attitudes and behaviors that may denote emotional dependence. Some examples are:
– We tend to perceive signs of a possible breakout frequently.
– After a breakup, we immediately look for another person to meet those emotional needs.
– Our illusions and our happiness depend on someone and we think that we cannot live without that person.
– We do not give priority to our needs, giving greater importance to those of the other.
– We idealize a person, thinking that all the good we have is thanks to him.
– After the break, we suffer symptoms similar to withdrawal symptoms. Some of the emotions that we can experience are: anxiety, fear of the future, insecurity and even physical discomfort.
The person who is already dependent lives in constant alert and the slightest gesture or comment will makes you fear that you can be abandoned. That is why control is sometimes allowed. Those at the grassroots tend to be dependent and find themselves with healthy partners will see threats where there are usually none.
Pilar Conde, finally, clarifies that although there are problems in the couple, we are not always in a toxic or control relationship. If we notice that this is the case, he invites us to go to a professional, in order to help us in self-knowledge and to be able to overcome the limitations imposed by emotional dependence.