If we don’t control our children, they will control us.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​The family is a small group, and this small group is managed by the parents. More precisely, parents should manage, because in fact this does not always happen. “What can I do with them, they don’t listen to me!” — for many parents, especially mothers and grandmothers, it is really difficult to manage children in any reasonable way. But if we do not control the children, they begin to control us …

Child control is the ability of adults to purposefully influence the child’s behavior in a particular situation. Unlike education, which forms the personality as a whole, management solves operational issues “here and now”.

The mother who yells at the child: «Go home immediately!» — is not busy raising a child, she only needs the child to break away from the game and be at home.

We do not always have enough time and energy to raise a child, but elementary management of a child is a must. At least, if a child needs to be treated for teeth — how to bring him to the dentist?

Elementary controllability of a child is mandatory for an adult, at least to protect the child from danger. When the child runs out onto the road with heavy traffic, he must be returned to the sidewalk. A similarly understandable task is to ensure that the child cannot misbehave with complete impunity in a particular situation.

If dad tries to say something to his daughter, and the daughter twists her face and waves her hand away from him, dad in this situation is not able to control anything. He is nobody here.

In order for a child to be brought up, at the beginning of upbringing and in parallel with upbringing, they make him educated: manageable, amenable to education. A well-bred child is an obedient child, it is only important that obedience is aimed at developing self-confidence in the child, developing independence and the ability to live among people. Teach your child to listen to you and obey, you need it and it is useful for the child himself.

Different parents have their own vision of how it is possible and necessary to achieve what is needed from the child, the methods and techniques used largely depend on this vision. Some of the parents consider it right to turn to feelings more often, someone to the mind, someone solves issues with training that works at the level of the body.

The methods and techniques of controlling a child are highly dependent on the controllability of the child, the views and motivation of the parents, and the requirements of a particular situation. In free education, the method of well-directed freedom is more often used, in disciplinary education — instructions and a system of reinforcements.

In this form, the control of the child takes on a simple form: if the child does not do what is needed, we give him instructions. If he does what he needs, we give him support. And that’s all. Once this system is established, relationships with children become very simple indeed, and it is this simplicity that characterizes the best solutions. Indeed, instructions are one of the natural and necessary elements in communication between parents and children. Simple and clear instructions are needed in a relationship with a small child who does not understand complex things and ornate appeals; clear instructions will be very useful when a child with your help masters any new business or at least for the first time does a difficult exercise from homework; firm instructions are given by the parents to the child when the child tries to disobey the parents while they address him in a gentle way.