If the child is too impressionable: what should parents do

Each child is sensitive to external stimuli: to changes in taste, temperature, noise and light levels, to changes in the mood of an adult. But there are those who have a more acute reaction from the cradle. “Remember the heroine of Andersen’s fairy tale The Princess and the Pea,” psychophysiologist Vyacheslav Lebedev gives an example. “Such children can hardly tolerate bright lights and harsh sounds, complain of pain from the slightest scratch, they are annoyed by prickly mittens and pebbles in socks.” They are also characterized by shyness, fearfulness, resentment.

If the child’s reactions are more pronounced than those of his brother / sister or other children, it is easier to unbalance him, he requires special attention. “A child with a strong type of nervous system will not be upset when he hears a harsh word addressed to him,” the neurophysiologist explains. “And for the owner of the weak, an unfriendly look is enough.” Did you recognize your son or daughter? Then stock up on calmness and patience.

Support

Don’t punish the child

For example, for crying or getting angry. “He does not behave this way in order to attract attention or achieve something, he is simply unable to cope with his reactions,” explains Vyacheslav Lebedev. Be ready to listen to him and help to look at the situation from the other side: «Someone acted ugly, but it’s not your fault.» This will allow him to survive the offense without taking the position of the victim. From birth, he needs more participation than others. He suffers more than others when those close to him devalue his experiences (“Why are you upset over trifles!”).

Avoid ridicule

Sensitive children are particularly susceptible to the disapproval of adults, to their excited or irritated tone. They are greatly offended by ridicule — at home, in kindergarten or school. Warn the teacher about this: vulnerable children are ashamed of their reactions. They feel that they are not like everyone else, and are angry with themselves for this. “If they serve as a target for offensive remarks, then their self-esteem decreases,” emphasizes Vyacheslav Lebedev, “in adolescence, they may encounter serious difficulties and withdraw into themselves.”

Don’t rush

“A trip to a kindergarten, a new teacher or unfamiliar guests — any changes in habitual life cause stress in susceptible children,” says the psychophysiologist. — At this moment, they experience sensations close to pain, and expend a lot of strength to adapt. Therefore, the child is always on the alert.” Give him time to adjust to the new situation.

Be careful

With load

«Sensitive children tire quickly, so keep an eye on your child’s daily routine, sleep, nutrition and physical activity.» Make sure that he has time to relax in silence, do not let him sit up in front of phone screens. Do not let your son or daughter sit up until midnight doing homework (as a rule, they do not allow the thought of going to school without completing the assignment). Set strict time limits for studying. Take responsibility and be willing to sometimes sacrifice good grades or some kind of circle so that the child has time to recover.

With the team

“If a child is comfortable communicating with only one peer and he is used to his loudness and activity, do not call for ten more friends,” reminds Vyacheslav Lebedev. “Children with a weak nervous system are often shy, they recuperate by shutting themselves off from the outside world. Their mental activity is directed inward. So you should not immediately send your son (daughter) to the camp for two weeks. If the child sees the attention of the parents and feels safe, then he will gradually develop resilience.

With sports

Resilience is trained, but not by drastic measures. By sending his “sissy” son to the rugby or boxing section, the father is likely to provide him with psychological trauma. Choose a soft sport (hiking, cycling, skiing, aerobics). A good option is swimming: it combines relaxation, pleasure and the opportunity to gain control over your body. If you feel that your child does not like sports, look for a replacement or take more walks.

Encourage

Creation

Although your child does not have a sufficient margin of strength and endurance, he has his own advantages, he is thoughtful, able to subtly perceive beauty and distinguish many shades of experience. “These children are fascinated by any kind of creativity: music, drawing, dancing, sewing, acting and psychology, among other things,” notes Vyacheslav Lebedev. “All these activities allow you to turn the sensitivity of the child to his advantage and direct his emotions in the right direction — to express sadness, anxiety, fear, joy, and not keep them in himself.”

Introspection

Analyze with the child his feelings and emotions. Invite him to write down in a notebook situations when he becomes helpless. Show exercises that help control emotions and do them together. Growing up, the daughter or son will not become less sensitive: the temperament will remain the same, but the character will be tempered. They adapt to their peculiarity and find the best way to manage it.