Parents always want the best for their children. But sometimes the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
They say that there are no bad moms. Indeed, you are the most beautiful creature in the world for your baby. However, we all sometimes make mistakes. And it is very easy to make mistakes in educating a new person. And now we are looking at an embittered, introverted teenager and ask ourselves how such a person could grow out of a cute, friendly baby. After all, he was a real sun! Yes, the whole point, of course, is in ourselves. We spoil everything ourselves, and we try to do our best. healthy-food-near-me.com has collected the most common mistakes of parents, which must be avoided by all means.
1. You scold the child for the truth
The kid did something wrong, screw it up. He honestly admitted it – himself or after your question. But you scold him anyway, just because he was wrong. But the child was brave enough to confess.
2. You punish the child in public
Scolding a child in public, even if they are not strangers, but grandparents, brothers and sisters, is a very bad idea.
3. Rebuke instead of support
“You should devote more time to homework” instead of “You are so smart, you try so hard. You just need to push a little. “
4. You don’t spend time together.
You take time to complain about your child’s behavior. But do not think that all his quirks are just a way to attract attention to yourself. Your baby just lacks your warmth.
5. You are not talking
You are too busy with work, problems with superiors, dinner that cannot cook itself. Therefore, you do not have time to listen to how your child is doing at school. And if you listen, you comment out of place – it is immediately clear that your thoughts are somewhere far from live communication with the baby. He understands that you are neglecting him.
6. Do not praise for achievements
Afraid to overpraise? Do not be afraid. The kid won the competition, coped with the test, made up with a classmate – there are many reasons to tell him how proud you are and how you love him.
7. You criticize. Always criticize
You are so afraid to over praise that you devalue all his achievements. “Took second place? Could have been the first “,” Why not five? “,” I could have tried better. “
8. Don’t try to understand him
It seems to you that the child is talking complete nonsense, inventing something just for the sake of invention. Seriously, monsters in the closet? Love to the grave in third grade? However, it is still worth stopping and trying to understand the feelings of the little person. Take it seriously, the child deserves it.
9. Theory instead of practice
You tell me how to do it right, but you don’t show it. It is much easier for your child to learn how to tie shoelaces or wash the dishes if you start doing it together.
10. Setting a bad example
The kid, like a sponge, absorbs your demeanor. Sitting at the table with your smartphone in mind? Squeamishly throwing vegetables out of your plate? Yelling at each other? So why do you want your child to behave differently?
11. Comparing with other children
This is generally a terrible sin. Children grow up with the feeling that they can never be as perfect as “the son of my mother’s friend.” Well, why bother then?
12. You don’t give a choice
Even the illusion of choice can solve a lot of problems. Does the child not want to go to kindergarten? Ask what kind of T-shirt he wants to wear there. The kid will switch from his “I do not want”. When deciding everything for the children, we forget to ask what they themselves want. Sometimes this even translates into a tendency to petty theft.
13. Pay off from him
Expensive toys, gadgets – all this is not for children, but for ourselves. So we suppress our feelings of guilt towards them for not spending time with our babies. We pay neither attention nor warmth to them.
14. Too patronizing
It is necessary to lead a child by the hand, but not forever. Recently, parents have been taking care of their children so fanatically that they grow up to be complete infantiles. They do not know how to cope with difficulties, even the smallest ones, because earlier, thanks to their parents, these very difficulties did not reach them. Give him the opportunity to make mistakes and bruise. After all, sooner or later you will have to let out of the greenhouse.
15. Use physical punishment
Children cannot be beaten. And to scare with beating too. Take a look around: no one in a normal human society can be beaten, even if you really want to. And your son or daughter, it turns out, you can. Is he the worst of all? Fear is not the best parenting method.
16. You brush it off
The child comes for advice, and you get off with a couple of short words. And even in a grumpy tone. He comes again – and again hears your grumpy “Yes”, “No”, “Not now.” One day he will stop coming.
Where does this lead?
The consequences of poor parenting can be very long-term.
1. Lack of empathy: children behave with others in the same way that their parents behave with them. Are you indifferent? Always busy? And he will be indifferent, other people will not be interesting to him.
2. Difficulties with friendship: Lack of self-esteem, self-esteem based on your opinion, self-doubt, or her twin brother’s insolence indicate that you have not emotionally invested in the child. And also that it will be difficult for him to make friends with someone or build an equal relationship. He will always adjust to the other, trying to guess what is expected of him.
3. Anxiety and depression: Studies have shown that difficulties in relationships with parents lead to the development of exactly the same depression as in adults.
4. Marginal behavior: when a child lacks warmth, live communication, he understands that he is not needed. He will begin to prove that he is also important, that he is worthy of attention. Methods for this can be very different – and a tendency to violence (including in relation to oneself), and escapes from home.