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If I am no longer attracted to my partner, how do I regain my passion?
Gender
Lack of communication, problems at home or stress at work can be the cause of low libido
Life as a couple is not always easy. Coexistence, small disagreements, not always wanting to talk … there are many things that can gradually wear down a relationship, and one of the most damaging is the loss of libido.
This can have an infinite number of causes, many times unrelated to the sexual life of a couple. Raquel Graña, psychologist, sexologist and coach, lists some of the reasons why a couple may experience this lack of sexual desire. First of all, explain that caring for the relationship is very important. If it doesn’t focus on communication, trust, and mutual respect, it can easily decline. Another reason can be overwork, as stress and constant worries from day to day can cause it.
Homework can also play an important role: if it is not distributed and everything falls on one person, It may reach a point where it generates great discomfort and rejection towards your partner, due to little empathy and appreciation.
A job of two
Also the physiological part plays a very important role. If you suffer vaginal dryness, either due to menopause, or because of some hormonal imbalance, can influence the loss of libido. “This can be solved by performing other types of erotic practices such as massages, oral sex, masturbation … and taking more care of the part of kisses, caresses, hugs …”, says the professional. Another factor that can affect may be the taking contraceptives hormonal, since they can be negative at the level of desire, blocking the normal functioning of the body.
The psychologist points to lack of concentration as another cause. He comments that if one is thinking about what to do next, at work or “when is it going to take”, the connection and focus with the couple is lost. «You have to try focus on the present moment, to enjoy and let it flow, without being aware of the clock or the problems or situations of others, “he explains.
On the other hand, the psychologist says that there are studies that show that people who sleep well or for longer hours, tend to have more desire for relationships “to be more relaxed, calm and in good physical condition.”
Body care
Our physical appearance plays a very important role in the neglect of a couple’s relationships. “Body odor is key, especially at the beginning of the relationship,” explains sexologist Raquel Graña, adding that it affects “smells in general, including bad breath.”
It is essential not to be careless and not “let go.” The professional explains that there are couples who go to extremes in which one of the members has stopped showering and brushing their teeth due to rejection of the other, “so that it would not approach him.” “In such a case, there is a bigger underlying problem than the lack of sexual desire,” he points out.
The professional affirms that physical change over the years does not have to influence, but that what is relevant is what each one does of himself and of the relationship. “Years do not matter so much as” self-care “and joint management,” he says.
How to regain passion
And what should a couple do if they have reached the point where they have a lack of sexual desire? The professional gives a few keys:
– It is important evaluate where the relationship is as a couple, since there are some who would prefer to leave it and start a new path without dragging so many problems.
– There is if there is a royal commitment and great on both sides. It is not only necessary to evaluate where both are together, but also separately.
– Must be start changing attitudes, behaviors or habits that have taken hold over time and annoy the other. For example, housework or detail. “It is true that you do not have to change, but you do have to adapt for the relationship to prosper.”
– You have to work in the communication improvement assertive. What does it mean? Daily communication without bad words or yelling. «Take a little time for each other, to spend time ».
– Finally, it is important regain passion doing activities that used to produce happiness. For example, a weekend getaway alone, a hobby together, a movie, the theater …
Finally, the sexologist explains that the fundamental thing is that the parties involved want to improve, not just one. “If both want and are willing to evolve, it will be much easier,” he concludes.