You will never hear from me: “I live for the sake of children.” Does this mean that I’m a bad mom? I do not think so.
– After leaving school and until my early twenties, my life was a wonderful time, full of freedom and all sorts of experiments. Was it not so with you?
Then I had children. But I did not become a different person. And my old life has not gone anywhere. Yes, I have new responsibilities. But why does someone think that I should immediately turn into a respectable, respectable member of society, and even teach someone (children) to do this?
I was faced with a dilemma: I was torn between the desire to live as before and the need to raise “right” people from my children. I was at a crossroads: I can turn out to be either a shitty mom or a perfect one.
As a result, I did not choose any of these options. I chose the third: I am always with my children, but I do not live for them.
My children see that I can burst into tears when I make a mistake, but they also see me raise my head and continue to look at life with optimism. They see me dancing and laughing with my girlfriends, and they see me with the same girlfriends holding their hand in a moment of sadness.
They heard from me a hundred times: “Unfortunately, we cannot afford it,” and at the same time they saw how I give the last 100 rubles to someone who needs it.
They saw how I manage to perfectly combine work, sports, housekeeping, and at the same time how often I quit what I started.
Maybe I should have shown less of my weaknesses by playing the role of an ideal mother? Years later, I don’t think so. When the children are old enough to go on an independent voyage, my life will continue. And when my role as a supermom becomes unnecessary, I will have friends, an environment, my hobbies, my lifestyle.
Anything can happen in my life – both good and not so, it is striped, but it is definitely not fixated on children, even if it sounds selfish. I make mistakes with them, I celebrate successes and joys with them, I show them that people can have weaknesses, and that’s okay. But the most important thing is that life is given so that we live it not for the sake of someone and not for someone else, but for ourselves.