I want to bite my loved one: what does it mean?

Kiss, slap, maybe even scratch … These actions in relation to a partner no longer seem unusual to us. Another thing is bites, the craving for which awakens in us sometimes at the most unexpected moments. Why is this happening? Sexologists explain.

«Take control of love»

Andrey Khvanov — psychiatrist, psychotherapist, sexologist

“The desire to bite, pinch, beat a person for whom there is an acute attack of love is widespread and seems to depend little on the cultural context. This phenomenon is called cute aggression (from the English cute aggression). 

Scientific studies of this phenomenon began relatively recently and are still few in number. The main hypothesis is that we, by biting, take control of the love going off scale in the moment. In other words, the mechanisms of regulation of emotions are turned on, their balancing, so that feelings do not «flood» us. 

It is curious that an acute attack of love can arouse both aggression and eating behavior at the same time.

Perhaps the fact is that the nerve centers of such ancient and important forms of behavior — love, care, aggression, hunger — are located in the hypothalamic region of the brain close to each other, and a strong excitation of one of them can «spread» to others, creating such bizarre pattern of behavior. 

«Show your feelings»

Alexey Vilkov — psychotherapist, sexologist

“The desire to bite a person we like arises as a result of a violent emotional outburst. When feelings, passion overshadow the mind and overcome the barriers of logic and sanity. 

The formation of emotions and behavioral reactions is associated with the ancient structure of the brain — the limbic system, which, among other things, controls basic instincts. Attraction is often associated with aggression, so sometimes under the influence of stress and strong positive experiences, some people show archaic impulses. 

It is important to show your feelings, but it is always necessary to take into account the reaction of the partner. If he is ready for such impromptu, then both will be satisfied and happy. But still, it is safer to open up gradually, gradually expanding each other’s personal boundaries. 

1 Comment

  1. mijn vriendin kan het niet laten te bijten, te krabben en te boven. denk dat ze inderdaad controle wil!

Leave a Reply