I want — I don’t want

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​A healthy and cheerful person always wants something: I want to move, talk, do this or that, see something, go somewhere, achieve something … This is excellent, inner wants and desires are an indicator of mental and physical health.

If Want is understood as a synonym for desire, then the question is often posed: “My desires have disappeared, I don’t want anything. How to wake up your want? An important question, see the article I don’t want anything, desires have disappeared, there is no motivation

It is normal and understandable when the question “What do you want, coffee or tea?” you answer «I want tea!». Sometimes you are loved and taken care of, and then the information about what you like and want is a help to those who love you.

There are other forms of the normal «want». It can be drawing the attention of others to their needs and desires (“Friends, I’m really thirsty. Shall we take a break from work?”), Once a strong statement of intention (“I want to live with you. I want you to become my wife!). More controversial options are when someone’s desire is presented as a requirement for others. For the royal will «I command!» worth the royal status, but the childish-hysterical “Ah-ah! Want!» there is only a manipulative game and a bad habit.

“I want — I don’t want” is a way of manipulating others who are ready for this. Conversations and disassemblies “I want — I don’t want, I love — I don’t love” is one of the most typical children’s topics, a favorite pastime of any child. Stories: «This is what I like, but this is what I don’t like!» is a great way to charge adults to do something around, serve and fuss. What I love, I need to do, and what I don’t like, I don’t need to do. This is a way of controlling adults, and children do it all the time.

“I don’t want to go to kindergarten!”, “I don’t want to go to school!”, “I won’t eat this porridge, I don’t like it, how many times should I tell you!” — probably, you have heard this more than once, although, I want to believe, not from your children.

If a child has caring and weak parents, the child gets used to the fact that his «I want — I don’t want» is something important and almost the only thing. If you don’t want to, say “I don’t want to!”, And then you won’t eat this porridge. But maybe you can still eat? They persuaded you, and you strongly said: “I don’t want to!”, And you were in the center of attention. Great, only your childhood has passed and we have become adults. And adults already know that there is no one to seriously talk about their “I want — I don’t want”. If you want, go and make it yourself if you can, or buy it if you have money. And adults just do what is necessary, because no one will do it for them. Unless, of course, they are really adults, and stopped playing in childhood. I want — I don’t want.

Only children or people-children, people with the position of a child play in “I want — I don’t want”, “I love — I don’t love”. Once to say: “I don’t want to!” in response to proposals, and even more so, harassment — this is normal, this is the protection of one’s borders and the manifestation of independence, but living in “hochulki” and “non-hochulki” is childhood. A childhood that someone has to pay for.

How to respond to cries I want? First, don’t shout. Secondly, you have to pay for your I want. Offer it to someone who screams his want. See →

Adults don’t tell what they like and what they don’t. They either do what they need and what will please them, or they don’t. When a person becomes an Adult, he does not shout about his desires, but deals with his values, sets goals and looks for ways to achieve them. If it is necessary to awaken desires in oneself, he uses the Keys of desire, if understanding of the Need is enough, he simply goes and does what is necessary.

I want and I must — a traditional opposition, characteristic of an unformed personality, for a person-child of any age. Look I want and I need

Adult people remember their desires, take into account their desires, but live to a greater extent by what is needed, what is promising — for them, for other people, for business. They read not so much what they want, but what they need to a greater extent, they eat not only what is tasty, but also what is also healthy, they make friends with people who are not just pleasant and cheerful, but also worthy. Likewise, choosing a vocation is always more than just choosing whether I want to do this or not. Wise people do not ignore their desires, but educate themselves in such a way that they want what they need now.