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I want a baby, but not him
The desire for a child does not always occur at the same time in a couple. How to react, what to say when you want a child and your companion does not want it or not yet?
I am ready to become a mother, why wait?
That’s it. You feel ready to become a mom. And now you want the baby to come quickly. Yes, but here it is, Monsieur is much less enthusiastic about becoming a dad. And a child must be desired by two. You will therefore have to wait, which is difficult in this case. Playing a child behind your companion’s back is always a bad idea. Better to try to convince him gently, by talking.
How to make him understand ?
When faced with child refusal, it is important to express how essential having children is for you. If you’re over 20, you can also tell her that you won’t be able to have children for another XNUMX years, so you don’t want to wait too long.
There is no point in harassing your spouse. You will need to be much more subtle! Plan outings with friends who already have children and show them how happy you are with children. You can also mention from time to time the names that you like or what you would like your child to discover.
Talk about it together
It is important to discuss this desire for an unrequited child, including why your partner does not want to have children. If he already has children of his own, is he satisfied with them and suddenly does he no longer feel the need for fatherhood? Is he afraid of losing his freedom? Does he still want to enjoy life together, get involved professionally before becoming a dad? Knowing his arguments, if they are valid, maybe it will be easier for you to be patient?
It is also possible that your other half is anxious at the idea of becoming a dad, of not being gifted, of reproducing a situation experienced as a child… You can then reassure him.
The dialogue will also allow you to know if, behind the stated reasons, there is not a real non-desire for a child. There, things are totally different. It’s up to you to decide if you can give up having children because your partner does not want them.
What if he really doesn’t want to have a child?
Despite months or years of patience and dialogue, your spouse still does not want to have a child. There, if your desire for children is stronger than anything, you no longer have a choice. You have to put it up against the wall: either we have a child or it’s over between us. He can then give in and his desire for paternity can arise during the pregnancy. If he categorically refuses, and you cannot live without children, a separation seems inevitable.