At the age of 19, the girl was diagnosed with anorexia. For 10 years, she ate low-fat yogurt, broccoli, and apples. And only closer to 40 years old I realized that she sacrificed too much for the sake of harmony.
Emma Wolfe is a successful British writer, critic and journalist. And the happy mother of a tiny toddler, her first and only son, Louis Cecil. Emma gave birth when she was 41 years old. She tried to conceive for a long eight years – to no avail.
“I remember my 37th birthday. I stood in the rain outside the door of a London hospital and cried. I just found out that the second round of IVF ended in failure. And I understood that I myself was to blame for this, ”writes Emma in her column for the Daily Mail.
She admitted that at the age of 19 she was diagnosed with an eating disorder, anorexia. Doctors warned her: an extreme diet increases the risk of infertility fourfold, dramatically increases the likelihood of miscarriage. But Emma didn’t listen. A slender figure – here it is, now. And children – when they will still be. Therefore, she continued to eat exclusively apples, broccoli and low fat yogurt.
She caught herself when she was already 33 years old: she and her husband decided to have children, but … The doctors’ predictions came true in the most terrible way.
“Almost ten years of disappointment. Numerous studies, analyzes, scans, treatment – it all took a lot of money. The insurance company approved the first round of IVF. The second one too. The third had to be done by herself, at her own expense. But this is not the worst thing. It’s scary that all these months of daily injections, constant scans and unpleasant procedures will be useless again, ”says Emma.
The girl began to eat normally, she even managed to gain weight. But it was too late: anorexia destroyed her reproductive system. She will never be able to conceive naturally, the chances of successful IVF have become less and less every year.
“If I understood where the fight for a figure will actually lead me … I have not had a period for 20 years, and it did not bother me,” says Emma.
Emma with her three-day-old son
Amenorrhea – the cessation of menstruation – occurs when too little fat remains in a woman’s body. It is necessary for the production of sex hormones that activate the reproductive system. And no menstruation means no ovulation, no eggs, no children.
Emma managed to restore the cycle only in three years. All this time she scolded herself that she realized so late. Then there was preparation for IVF: injections, examinations and many additional examinations. Every time after the implantation of eggs, Emma was even afraid to move once again: no stress, no hot shower, especially flights.
“I took handfuls of vitamins every day, even went to acupuncture to relax and help my body cope with conception. But nothing helped. My body has rejected eggs twice. I didn’t get pregnant, ”recalls Emma.
And only the third time did it work out. After the prescribed nine months, Ludovic Cecil was born, a healthy boy weighing 3150 grams. Now Emma discovers new facets of motherhood: breastfeeding, sleeping together, diapers, baby slings … And she absolutely does not care about her figure:
“I absolutely do not care now what my body looks like. After all, it gave me a child – and what could be more beautiful than this? “