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March 8 is International Women’s Day of Solidarity in the Struggle for Equal Rights. But to date, we have not yet achieved gender equality. There are fewer women in the respective thematic groups than in the communities dedicated to “Vedic psychology” and patriarchal values. Why?
The feminist movement that arose more than a hundred years ago shook the centuries-old structure of the Western world: in addition to duties, women had rights. However, a bright future, in which no one refuses a woman to work because she will soon go on maternity leave, and wages correspond to men’s, is still far away.
It would seem that today women themselves should be interested in equality with men, but, according to polls1Feminism in our country is supported by only a third of the female population. Why is this happening and what makes many of us distance ourselves from our own gender?
I didn’t read it, but I condemn it?
Many women in Russia are in no hurry to sign up as feminists, fearing the disapproval of others. Feminism in our country is often considered something unnecessary, and feminists – aggressive, unkempt and unhappy.
The concern of potential activists is partly justified: once you call yourself a feminist, you will have to prove that it is not a lack of male attention or injuries received from a partner. At the same time, the media scare the future that feminism allegedly advocates: women go to the mines, feminists go to dictionaries (“authors” and “bloggers” scare many). But such ideas have little to do with reality.
Feminism (not to be confused with matriarchy) is a movement for the rights of women, against their discrimination. This means that women should not have fewer political, economic and civil rights just because they are women.
The ideas of feminism deserve attention, if only because it gives the freedom to choose how to live, how to look and what principles to follow: to be a housewife or to strive up the career ladder. Give birth or be childfree. But behind the information noise, these voices are almost inaudible. Hence the extremes.
A split in the ranks
“In modern society, women have fallen more than it is possible to pull on one: you need to be beautiful, educated, raise children with high quality, and also work,” says psychoanalyst Elizaveta Knyazeva. – The psyche of those who could not withstand such pressure chooses one of the roles and begins to desperately defend it, as if justifying their inability to pull all the roles at once. And the world of women split: someone chose to be only beautiful and turned it into an extreme, someone was mired in all-consuming motherhood, someone decided to compete with men, denying the feminine essence.
The triumph of women’s solidarity in this state of affairs seems like a utopia. As soon as we (men and women) see a sluggish woman driving or a defiant-looking girl, misogyny (misogyny) comes to the fore. Women’s dislike of women is what feminists call internal misogyny.
One of its manifestations is the desire of some women to distance themselves from others with phrases like “All women are fools”, “I’m not like that”, “It’s more interesting with men.” They try to join the male community and get his approval, but they only make it worse, once again confirming the opinion of the supporters of patriarchy that a woman without a man is nothing.
More than a housewife
Is it possible to say that women who advocate “patriarchal principles” in the form of cooking borscht and raising children do not strive for self-development?
“When chasing happiness, many of us are actually chasing a reduction in the uncertainty of the future,” explains sociologist Ksenia Kasyanova. — Self-development in this sense is the opposite of predictability. This is a search, going beyond the boundaries of the comfort zone, a violation of the established and understandable ways of life.
On formal grounds, patriarchal foundations and self-development look like opposites, but to assert this is a mistake.
Even within the patriarchal model, there are many ways to put yourself in a state of uncertainty. For example, to give birth to a child (and become a doctor in child psychology or pediatrics). Organize family leisure (and process a ton of information in an attempt to find an exhibition that would suit everyone, from a three-year-old to a respectable father). To start a repair, in the end (here and physics, and architecture, and antidepressants – there are a lot of directions for gaining knowledge).
“In other words, the commonplace “sits on the husband’s neck, does not develop in any way” is just labeling, often not related to reality,” the sociologist concludes.
With love for men
“My mother earned money in my family, my grandmother was in charge of everything, and since childhood I saw examples of strong women, so the idea of gender equality has always been natural for me,” says 36-year-old Sofia about her path to feminism. “But when I grew up, I found that in fact, few people support her.
That usually women after work still work out the second shift in the kitchen, while men just lie down on the sofa. That men dictate to women where to go and what to wear. What young mothers are told: “You sit at home, you do nothing.” I was shocked when I found out that there are many such examples.”
We finally began to think about why the phrase “you’re like a kid” for a girl is a compliment
Feminism does not want all women to become like men, but to recognize the value and identity of a woman as a person.
Even the most radical feminism does not involve man-hatred. This is a fight against patriarchy – a system where power at all levels, from the family to politics, is concentrated in male hands. This state of affairs harms not only women, but also men, obliging them to follow rigid stereotypes of masculinity. We finally began to think about why the phrase “you’re like a boy” for a girl is a compliment, but “you’re like a girl” for a boy is an insult.
“I have a daughter and I want her to grow up knowing that being a girl is cool,” Sofia continues. “That she has a lot of possibilities, she can be anyone and her success in life does not depend on her beauty or the ability to paint her lips.”
Reasonable Compromise
So, feminism in Russia is supported by more than 30% of women. Experts agree that feminists manage to successfully promote their agenda with the help of social networks and other information platforms.
“And those women who do not dream of feminism and the struggle for equal rights with men have learned to live without denying their difference from the latter,” notes Elizaveta Knyazeva. “They have implemented a reasonable compromise in life: they don’t take on more than they can, and they don’t try to be perfect in everything. The balance of invested forces in various fields of activity enables a woman to succeed in each of them. And it is less energy-consuming than defending one of the extremes.”
However, feminism itself does not need to be popular. It is enough that we solve the problems that gave rise to this movement.
Deal with the devil
What are the benefits of patriarchy for women and are they real? Explains Ekaterina Borozdina, Researcher at the Gender Studies Program at the European University at St. Petersburg.
“There is what is called “patriarchal bonuses” – you follow social expectations and receive compliments, flowers, financial support from a man as a reward. They also talk about “positive discrimination” against women under patriarchy – you are discriminated against, but as if for your own good. You are spared from hard and dangerous work, you will not be drafted into the army … However, patriarchal benefits are a kind of deal with the devil.
The cost to women here is high. For example, the role of a housewife is associated with financial dependence on her husband and, as a result, the risk of abusive relationships. And among women there are those whose life experience has been at the intersection of several types of inequality, not only gender, but also class, racial, ethnic, age or health status – often they do not have enough resources (education, finances, social ties) to think about the struggle for emancipation.
Not that women’s day
Gender historian, professor of the Russian Academy of Sciences Natalya Pushkareva talks about the evolution of the self-consciousness of our compatriots.
“The ideas of feminism came to Russia later than to England, France or the USA, and covered only a narrow layer of educated wealthy city dwellers. 90% of Russian women who lived outside the cities did not even hear about feminism until the beginning of the XNUMXth century. And when they heard, they considered the calls of his supporters – to recognize the special nature of the women’s value system and women’s social interests – not very clear.
Female employees of Russian enterprises did not form gender, but rather social self-awareness. Much closer to difference feminism was equality feminism, the idea of creating a society of equals, where men would not have advantages either in choosing a profession, or in access to education or the right to vote and be elected.
The year 1917 brought just such an understanding of the solution of the women’s question. Throughout the long decades of Soviet power, the same overwhelming majority of women in our country believed that they did not need feminism, since the women’s issue had long been resolved.
In post-Soviet Russia, women in our country do not have any unity of goals and views, which is why the women’s movement does not develop. Most women do not understand why they need to be psychologically independent and economically independent, because for decades it has not been customary to educate independence in women.
It is no coincidence that March 8, the Day of International Solidarity of Working Women Ready to Proclaim “No Flower, Give Power!”*, has turned into a day of traditional gender roles in our country, when men give flowers and whisper words of admiration to women.
Women who have been told for so long that they should be strong and work with men on an equal footing now want to be weak. What kind of feminism can they talk about ?!
* “Flowers are not needed, give power!” (English)
1 Wciom.ru, March 2019.