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Communicating in other languages not only helps our careers, but also enriches us spiritually. Why is it so difficult for some, even after many years of study? And how to deal with it?
Many of us, after long-term studies of a foreign language at school, college or courses, find ourselves in a situation where it is necessary to finally speak it – negotiations with foreign partners, a trip abroad … And at this moment we find that they cannot pronounce a word.
“In such a situation, all the strength, all the energy is spent on experiencing one’s own incompetence,” explains psychologist and author of the training to remove the language barrier, Evgenia Kuznetsova. “Instead of trying to fix the situation, making another attempt, we get upset, lost and silent.”
Some of the difficulties that arise when communicating in a non-native language are related to the shortcomings of the teaching system, but this reason is not the only one.
Solve internal problems
“Very often childhood traumatic experiences are transferred into adulthood,” says psychotherapist Lucy Mikaelyan. “If a child was scolded for any mistake in the learning process, now that he has grown up, two similar situations are unconsciously superimposed on each other: it is not easy to realize that you are not a teacher in front of you, and you yourself are no longer a child.”
A childishly insecure person in any situation is more willing to notice his shortcomings than his virtues. He easily agrees with criticism, as he finds in it confirmation of what he thinks about himself. “Before starting to work with the text, I ask each participant of the training to evaluate what part of it they can understand,” says Evgenia Kuznetsova. “And later we find that the result usually exceeds expectations.”
“Situations in which I need to speak English, I perceive as hostile – it seems to me that I am constantly being judged. That is why I strive to avoid them,” says 28-year-old Igor. A person who underestimates his own strength attaches too much importance to the opinions of other people. That is why a fundamentally different experience of interaction with a native speaker is so important – mutual interest helps to overcome awkwardness and fear.
“My mistakes were ignored!”
Vera, 34 years old, process engineer
The company I work for sent me to Germany for an internship. In the evening, Berlin colleagues invited me to a bar, and I accepted the invitation without thinking that I would be left alone in a company where no one speaks Russian. At the institute, I studied German, but the teachers always scolded my pronunciation, and I got a “troika” in my diploma. At first I kept silent, but it’s stupid not to say a word all evening, especially when you understand almost everything. “I’ll risk it!” I thought. I inserted a phrase, answered someone’s question, asked a question myself. It seems that no one paid attention to my mistakes except myself! I wish I knew at the institute that, it turns out, I can explain myself in a foreign language and that it brings so much joy!
Setting the right task
By focusing on how to construct a phrase, we lose sight of the pragmatic meaning of communication. It is very important to understand its purpose – otherwise you can go to courses for years, but never start speaking. Only by perceiving a foreign language as a path leading to the solution of a certain problem, we begin to express ourselves in it, without thinking about pronunciation and grammar.
open up to the world
Sometimes behind the unwillingness to speak the language is an unconscious rejection of the cultural stereotypes associated with it. After World War II, for example, many could not bring themselves to speak “enemy” German.
Today, some people also sometimes feel dislike for a particular language. “What anthropologists call “cultural curiosity” will help here: the willingness to understand another country from the inside, while at the same time recognizing with dignity one’s belonging to a different culture,” says Lucy Mikaelyan. A certain picture of the world is fixed in the language.
“The Russian expression “sleeps like a groundhog” is a worn out formula for us, but its German counterpart “sleeps like a stone” sounds poetic,” says linguist Irina Levontina. “Communication in a foreign language allows you to see the familiar in an unexpected perspective and enriches your native speech.” Expressing ourselves in a non-native language is not an easy task, but its solution is akin to creativity, expanding our understanding of the world and our place in it.
mentally prepare
Change your point of view. Imagine that a foreigner is addressing you. Analyze your emotions: will you experience irritation and anger because his speech is imperfect? Try to remember your feelings and refer to them every time you are going to speak in a foreign language.
Imagine the worst. Try to predict the worst case scenario: what is the worst thing that can happen to you from the inability to express your thought? Replay the situation in your mind so you can better understand your concerns.
Remember the good. A positive experience in speaking a foreign language, no matter how small, will help you gain confidence in yourself. Keep it in your memory – in difficult times, it will support and encourage you.
How to help another person speak a foreign language?
You should not blame a person for not being able to communicate independently in a foreign country, but at the same time, you should not turn into his nanny. Try to create a situation in which it will be not only necessary for your companion to speak a foreign language, but also relatively comfortable.
For example, offer to chat with a person who understands Russian and, on occasion, can suggest a forgotten word. Do not try to say everything for him and do not correct if he happens to make a mistake – just rejoice at every phrase uttered and be ready to help in a really difficult moment. When possible, try to share your love for the language and culture – all of which help a person overcome the language barrier.
We would like to thank Galina Kitaigorodskaya, director of the Center for Intensive Foreign Language Teaching at Moscow State University named after M. V. Lomonosov, for her help in preparing the material.