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Sometimes you want to have instructions for life. Such a book, which would say how to act in a given situation or what to do in the event of a “breakdown”. But life is more complicated than conventional technology, so everyone draws up instructions for it himself. Today we will share one of them – one that will help you get through difficult times.
Each of us at least once, but found himself in a state where it seems that life has reached a dead end and there is no way out of it. The reasons are different: a dream did not come true, a mistake made ruined plans, something had to be abandoned or someone had to say goodbye …
And we feel that we are falling “to the bottom.” It’s dark, cold, damp here. It’s hard to breathe and sometimes wildly scary. We want to go back upstairs, to the sun, where it is warm and calm. But first you need to push off from the bottom, and for this you need to gain strength to get up and jump, or at least just start slowly climbing.
Where can you get these forces? Here are 6 ways.
1. Stop demanding a quick fix from yourself and the world
Of course, I want the pain to go away instantly and everything becomes easy. But sometimes you have to live in this pain, endure it. Here, as with bitter medicine – one must endure bitterness in order to get relief and recover.
2. Allow yourself to be in this state.
As many as you need and the way you want. Cry out loud, lie in bed all day, scream into your pillow and punch it. You can even go for a walk and sit on a bench for half a day, looking at one point, if that’s exactly what you need.
3. Separate the situation from yourself and from your life
What is happening is just one of the stages in the formation of your personality and life. There are other qualities, other situations. Good, bright, happy. Say to yourself: “Such situations were in my past. I remember them and know that they will definitely be in the future. That’s how life is.”
4. Do what makes you happy
Not to forget and ignore the pain, but to help yourself. “Pain, I see you. I know that you are somewhere near. But now I choose to take a break from you and read a magazine, watch a movie, drink tea.
5. Talk to your loved one
With someone who understands, loves and supports you. You can just talk about nothing. Not about pain and your experiences, but simply about life, the weather, the movie you watched. The voice of a loved one is sometimes saving in itself, so the topic of conversation is not so important.
6. Come up with words of encouragement
And say them to yourself regularly. Just not “everything will be fine” or “next time everything will work out”, but “I will survive this, I know”, “I am strong and can be strong in any weakness”, “I have enough supports to cope with this, even if not right now.”
The only thing you want in a difficult situation is speedy relief. So that everything stops faster and is forgotten, so that it is easy and calm. However, the mind doesn’t work that way.
“Unbearable” and “hard” will surely end someday, but you have to live up to this moment. Avoiding the pain, ignoring it, pushing it deeper and pretending everything is fine will only make it worse. To give it a place, express it and experience it – this is our main task “at the bottom”.