When my son went to first grade, we faced such fear as “fear of making a mistake”. When this topic first arose — I’m afraid to answer in class, the guys will laugh — I decided to move in two directions, firstly, to show my son that there is no reason to be afraid, and secondly, to develop in him a positive attitude towards answers to questions. lessons and mistakes. And we had this conversation:
— When you play at recess and in the after-school group, do you laugh?
— Oh sure
— Tell me, in what situations do you laugh when you play?
— Does someone say something funny, funny, or flop, or do something wrong?
“And it was like it was you?”
— Well, yes, of course, how many times! — smiles
— And did you also laugh in this situation or did you stop playing?
— Of course, I laughed, it’s more interesting to play than to sit on the sidelines.
— And you are not afraid that they will laugh at you in the game?
— Yes, no … (and then he thinks and looks at me with a smile), — I understand, mom, it’s the same in the lessons, right?
— So, when they laugh, it’s not scary, and you will already be a brave, brave boy at the lessons.
“And what if I still make a mistake — it’s not good.
Let’s see what’s wrong? How do you think? Can you explain to me?
The son thought.
— A mistake is when something is said wrong, wrong.
— Why might there be an error? Think, don’t rush.
— Because I forgot something, well, or, in a hurry (smiles) — he is very mobile.
— So? … — I pause for him to finish his conclusion.
— So, you need to learn better and not rush! the son says happily.
— Well done, and if you still made a mistake, what will you need to do? Here you write a test, the teacher checks it, corrects mistakes. And in the next lesson you do the work…
“Work on the bugs,” he nods his head.
— What for?
— To remember how to solve the example correctly next time.
— Well done, so, having made a mistake, you need to understand what you did wrong and correct it. Correctly?
— Yes. This is cool! Now I’m not scared at all! Mom, you are magical!
After this dialogue, when I saw that my son had some difficulties or made mistakes, it was enough to remind him and ask the question: “What should you do now, so that it would be different next time?”. And then she always praised him: “You did a great job, you did it” — and the result came faster each time. Now he is 16 years old. And the issue of fear of making mistakes is a thing of the past. Now he is asking himself this control question. And I am sure that this ability to cope with difficult situations will come in handy more than once in his life.
Many social fears arise from misunderstanding, from ignorance. From the fact that once acquired negative experience was not explained and translated into positive.