“I look like a teenager”: three disadvantages of youthful appearance

They are always asked for a passport when buying alcohol, they easily get lost in the company of teenagers, and their peers are mistaken for their parents. Looking younger is the dream of many. Women and men (the latter, however, hide this) go to many tricks to take at least a couple of years from their real age: from the use of expensive cosmetics to drastic measures like plastic surgery. Therefore, it is really difficult for most to understand those who complain about too youthful appearance.

“Only fools do not judge people by their appearance” is one of the most famous expressions of the writer Oscar Wilde. For two centuries it has been repeated by admirers of the author’s work, reinforcing the stereotype. So why is it difficult for people who look much younger than their years?

1. They are not perceived as professionals

Some professions require certain external data, and often age is associated with work experience.

For example, in my practice there was a case when a man was not hired for a managerial position, because outwardly he looked like a teenager. The work involved negotiating and concluding multimillion-dollar contracts: a man with too young a look would not inspire confidence in clients.

2. They have to work harder to prove their competence.

If you have such an appearance, this does not mean that all paths are closed. Desire, hard work and perseverance will make a recruiter or boss change their mind. Yes, you will have to work a little more, a little better, go to an extra dozen interviews. But achieving the goal is quite realistic. There is another option: get a job in a certain company and grow within it. If you earn money for the company, management will definitely raise you and will not ignore you.

This is what happened to one of my clients. At 27, the girl looked 10 years younger. She dressed like a teenager, ignoring makeup. At the same time, her qualities as an employee were at a very high level. The problem was solved with the help of a change in office wardrobe and the right emotional mood. Now the girl works in a leadership position.

3. Teenagers get to know them

Once I was approached by a 30-year-old woman who could not arrange her personal life due to the fact that only teenagers met her. That is, she was not interested in anyone over 21 years old. Outwardly, she looked 18 years old. But why didn’t relationships develop with people from her circle of friends? It was already a separate question for work.

And if people behave and dress too infantile? Yes, this is also possible and often occurs – the appearance dictates a certain behavior to its owner, and they “get stuck” in adolescence. But it is enough to start behaving like a mature person, and everything will fall into place. But it is not always easy for “eternal students”.

Appearance is not the problem.

However, it’s not always about the youth. It happens that a person only justifies his problems at work and in his personal life with his appearance, ignoring the true reason – infantilism. Infantilism is evident primarily due to clothing – this is what is on the surface.

Too short skirts, ripped jeans at work and outside of it, not always appropriate youth style. Sometimes such people from the back are difficult to distinguish from teenagers.

And if you have time to watch them, you can also notice manifestations of childishness in the behavior and manner of communication – selfishness, whims, unwillingness to make decisions, touchiness, irresponsibility. This problem is already quite serious. And to solve it, you need to tune in to work with a specialist.