PSYchology

Why complexes are dangerous for teenagers? And how can we help them love themselves? Meaghan Ramsey, a nutritionist, marketer and business analyst, director of the Dove Self Esteem Project, invites us to think about this.

Every month, more than 10 teenagers enter the question “How do I look?” into the Google search box. And thousands of girls are filming themselves to put on YouTube and ask: «Tell me honestly, am I pretty or ugly?» It would be better if they didn’t. The comments under their videos can be just scary to read. And, in an attempt to gain self-confidence, girls become the target of absolutely groundless, but deadly insults.

But why do normal, healthy children have such panicky insecurity about their own appearance? Today’s children live under enormous social pressure. They are constantly in touch, constantly online. And the most obvious way for them to evaluate themselves is the usual action on social networks — to count the number of “likes”. Alas, they have to compete with carefully retouched ideals of beauty. It is impossible to win this fight, and it is very easy to hurt yourself.

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The statistics are frightening: a third of schoolchildren in America today refuse to go to extracurricular activities so as not to draw attention to their appearance, and one in five skip classes for this reason. Uncertainty about one’s own appearance increases the risk of depression; in an effort to assert themselves, adolescents enter into early sexual relationships, and in an effort to find solace, they resort to alcohol and drugs.

Megan Ramsey calls to turn this situation around. She highlights the key factors to be included in educational programs aimed at instilling self-confidence in children. But educational programs on their own are not enough. To seriously change the starting point, we all need to start with ourselves. Stop judging outstanding politicians or athletes by their haircut or chest size. Judge people by what they do, not by how they look. And to declare as role models, providing a platform and broadcast, to those who really change our world for the better.

And also — often remind the children that we love them. We love for who they are, for their feelings, thoughts and actions, for the fact that they are individuals, and not only for their appearance.

For more details, see Megan Ramsey’s TED talk, which has already garnered over 1600 views.

ted.com/talks/meaghan_ramsey_why_thinking_you_re_ugly_is_bad_for_you?language=ru#t-616039

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