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They get confused in appointments, leave the keys at home, cannot remember the name of the book they are currently reading … Such forgetfulness gives them a lot of trouble. Why does it arise?
Simple absent-mindedness or obvious health disorder? Can we cope with our forgetfulness on our own or should we seek help from specialists?
Memory impairment can have many causes. The most difficult cases are associated with neurological disorders. “And above all with Alzheimer’s disease,” says neurologist Vladimir Zakharov. – Only in the initial stage of this incurable disease can we make life easier for patients. We preserve their memory with the help of transmitters, drugs that make up for the lack of acetylcholine, the substance by which information is transmitted from cell to cell.
Another common cause of forgetfulness is vascular dementia. It develops rapidly, and in this case, memory helps to preserve drugs that normalize cerebral circulation.
These serious disorders must be distinguished from simple forgetfulness, which can be caused by stress, depression, or long-term traumatic experiences. And in these cases, it is quite possible to improve memory. “If, having forgotten the name of the actor, you remember it when you hear his name, then the violation is not of a systemic nature. In this case, you can turn to a psychologist,” says Vladimir Zakharov.
Psychological reasons
“Forgetfulness often occurs at the moment when a person’s connection with himself is broken, he stops hearing his inner voice, and perceives life as a difficult test,” says psychoanalyst Ksenia Korbut. “Oblivion turns out to be a saving way out, however, only for a short time.” Psychodramatic trainings, work with a psychotherapist help to clarify the relationship with oneself and with one’s family history.
From the point of view of psychoanalysis
Everything that we once experienced, everything that causes us a feeling of discomfort, anxiety, fear, we displace into our unconscious. “This is how one of the methods of psychological defense works,” explains Ksenia Korbut. “By “forgetting”, we get rid of the ambivalence of our feelings, protect ourselves from negative experiences – in a word, we temporarily forget about what causes mental pain. But at the same time we move away from ourselves, because the cause of our suffering remains unchanged.
“I couldn’t remember how old I was”
Nikolai, 51, employee of the Ministry of Culture
“For the past few years, I keep forgetting things. For example, I need to find something in the office. But while I’m going there, I forget what I was going for. On duty, I have to conduct many negotiations with a variety of people. And often I completely forget our preliminary agreements. Some kind of sudden failure, a veil … This happens to me more and more often, and it becomes simply unbearable. And the other day something quite out of the ordinary happened: I could not remember how old I am! All of this makes my life miserable.”
Everything that is stored in our unconscious periodically breaks through in a symbolic form, in the form of plot dreams, erroneous actions (slips of the tongue, slips of the tongue), memory lapses. Alexander, 32, constantly forgets or loses the keys to his apartment. He grew up in an authoritarian family, and his parents made it clear very early that he had no place in their home. From the age of 18, Alexander lives independently. It would seem that he forgot about what he experienced in childhood, and perhaps only such a strange forgetfulness worries him.
“Rejection is a strong destructive feeling, it is difficult to cope with it,” comments Ksenia Korbut. – Unconsciously forgetting the keys, Alexander is still trying to free himself from this experience. But each time, faced with a locked door, again and again he feels abandoned. Forgetting indicates the presence of a problem, and what exactly we have forgotten can tell us where to look for the cause of suffering. Psychoanalysis helps to plunge into the unconscious, re-experience painful experiences and thus free oneself from them.
What to do?
1. Do exercises to develop attention
Buy a beautiful frame, insert a sheet with some kind of poem into it and hang it in a conspicuous place. Your goal is to memorize one or two poems a week.
2. Work with the body
Sign up for a dance studio: classes will help you maximize your memory and attention.
3. Don’t try to do everything
Forgetful people often think about a hundred things at once. Let’s relax and learn to shift some business to others – then it will be easier for you to remember the main thing.
4. Play associations
Pairing one representation with another is a great way to remember them. Look for your memorization techniques.
5. Develop sensuality
The more your feelings are included during some activity, the more likely it is that it will be well remembered. Go to a perfume shop to enrich your olfactory palette, quit smoking for a better taste, and pay attention to tactile sensations.
Advice to those around you
The main victims of forgetfulness are those who forget themselves! So don’t be too harsh on them. If, having forgotten about the agreement, the person again let you down and is trying to find the reason for his forgetfulness, show tolerance. Prompt, ask leading questions related to a particular situation.
This is exactly what the therapist does during the session. Help your forgetful loved one train their memory: instead of repeating the same thing three times, ask him if he remembers what you just said. Such “checks” will contribute to his greater concentration.