«I heard from the doctor that my son needs a transplant. A few months earlier I buried his father »

«When I saw Tobias for the first time, I thought that it would be good now, that nothing bad would happen to us, because we had already exhausted the limit of life tragedies. And it was March 11, 2022. That day, I heard from the doctor that my little son would have to deal with a very difficult disease. We were immediately referred to the hospital – writes Marta, the boy’s mother, in a letter to the editorial office of MedTvoiLokony. He has one request for the Readers of the website.

1. «Unfortunately, I welcomed my son into the world alone – my partner did not make it on time. He died in an accident when I was 3 months pregnant. Tobiaszek bears his name »writes the boy’s mother
2. Tobias was diagnosed with bone marrow aplasia. She must have a white platelet transfusion twice a week, and a blood transfusion once every 2-3 weeks
3. Tobias can be saved by a bone marrow transplant from an unrelated donor. Ms Marta appeals that as many people as possible have registered in the bone marrow donor database. Perhaps among the readers of MedTvoiLokony there will be a “genetic twin” that will save the boy’s life?
4. More holiday information can be found on the TvoiLokony home page

Below is a letter from Mrs. Martha, we have Tobias.

We both waited for our son, but I greeted Tobias alone

«No parent wants to know that their child will have to face a terminal illness. Neither parent wants to hear that the therapeutic possibilities may end, and the only chance to save the child will be another person, a potential bone marrow donor, who is not present in the current registers.

Both my partner and I waited for our son, our dream come true. We were glad that a new, most important tenant would appear in the house, who would fill it with joy, first words, steps – and scattered toys. We couldn’t wait to grab his hand for the first time, go for a walk, and take him to kindergarten. Unfortunately, I welcomed my son alone in the world – my partner did not make it on time. He died in an accident when I was 3 months pregnant. Tobiaszek is named after him.

When I saw Tobias for the first time, I thought that it would be good now, that nothing bad would happen to us, because we had already exhausted the limit of life tragedies. And it was March 11, 2022. That day, I heard from the doctor that my little son will have to face a very difficult opponent – bone marrow aplasia. I did not think that the cough and small spots on his body were a sign of a serious illness. After blood tests ordered by the family doctor, it turned out that Tobias’ condition was very serious. So much so that we were immediately referred to the hospital.

Why did this happen to my child?

It was shock, disbelief, anger and great regret for me. Then I thought – what is my life? Why did this happen to my child? At the beginning I went through a big crisis, but at one point I got so much power – I can’t tell where from – that I told myself – it will work! I’ll turn the world on its head just to save my baby.

Our everyday life has changed dramatically – and actually in an instant. Instead of spending time discovering the world together, showing Tobias everything that surrounds us – we constantly go to the hospital. My son has to have a white platelet transfusion twice a week and a blood transfusion every 2-2 weeks. It is impossible to describe the sight of such a small, defenseless child in a hospital room, with a cannula in that tiny hand. It is heartbreaking every time, but we have to fight. Sometimes I look at Tobias and I don’t believe that there is so much strength, so much will to fight in a child that is just over one year old. That my son can endure pain and smile at me, doctors and nurses at the same time. If he can do it, then I have to. I believe that Tobias will recover and in a year’s time he will be making sand cakes with other children at this time. I know that there are many unique moments ahead of us – and it gives me strength.

I am looking for a person who will give a part of himself

With all this, I realize that apart from my son’s will to fight, doctors and nurses who are doing everything they can to help my child, we need someone else. An unrelated bone marrow donor. A person who selflessly gives a piece of himself to save Tobias and give him a chance for health, childhood and growing up with me. In the current registries, despite the huge number of potential bone marrow donors, there is no one person who is compatible with my son. It is hard to imagine if you think that among more than 36 million people in the global database, there is no one – so important to us – person. The one on whom the life of the most important person depends on us.

Only the next potential donors who register will increase the chance of finding a “genetic twin” for Tobias. I often think about what I would say to people who hesitate to register. Certainly the fact that they can save the life of my son and other children in such a simple way, who are constantly waiting for their donor. And there are really many of them. Besides, we never know if we ourselves will ever need the help of a “genetic twin”, because neoplastic diseases of the hematopoietic system can affect anyone – regardless of status, age or lifestyle. I think then each of us would like to hear this most important message – we have found a donor for you, there is hope.

Maybe that’s what’s most important – hope. If you register with the bone marrow donor base of the DKMS Foundation, you will give hope for a healthy life to all patients who are currently struggling not only with the disease, but also fearing whether the donor will be found or on time.

I believe that among you there is a “genetic twin” Tobiaszek – perhaps he is reading my letter right now and does not know yet that one day he will be my son’s superhero.

If you can, please register. It may turn out that the several minutes you spend on registration will give my son his whole life.

Marta, Tobiaszek’s mother »