“I have a lot to do, but I’m not busy”

You may know this: after a long week at work, the weekend finally arrives. Time to rest, relax, to do nothing. But on a Saturday morning—before nine o’clock—you’ve already scheduled three business meetings, ordered a closet from IKEA, and are taking on four other tasks that will keep you busy all weekend.

Or maybe something similar happened to you: eight in the morning – and you are already in the office. On the table is a list of four items – important things for today. And then the phone rings, you pick up the phone … and even before you have time to understand something, evening comes and it’s time to go home. The list is still on the table – you haven’t even touched it, let alone done anything.

Both examples illustrate “doing addiction,” a deeply ingrained human habit associated with brain chemical imbalances. The main role in this drama is played by the hormone dopamine. Dopamine is a highly addictive drug that is produced naturally in the brain in response to rewards. And then we have a short feeling of pleasure, reward and relaxation …

Dopamine is the main driving force that causes constant employment. When you arrange three business meetings, order a closet from IKEA, and read your Facebook feed, dopamine is released. You feel good. But only for a short time. Then the brain demands a new dose. More action! And for a long time we run in a vicious circle of “action-reward” … This is the dependence on doing in action. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Check how addicted you are to doing

As a consequence of addiction to doing, we chase after short-term victories. We spend most of our time on small details, which makes us lose sight of the big goals. If you are not yet sure if this applies to you, we suggest taking a short test.

The next time you come to the office early in the morning, just sit down and look out the window or at the computer screen before you start your activity. Don’t do anything. Do not speak. Don’t solve any problems. Just sit without doing anything for three minutes.

If the test seems difficult, if inaction is a real challenge, if you feel restless and eager to do something, you are addicted to action. Fortunately, there is a way out.

Busyness is modern laziness

Doing addiction is an advanced form of laziness. We are obsessively occupied with things. The busier we become, the more we avoid thoughts of life and death. When we are constantly busy with things – important or not – we avoid facing life. We keep a safe and comfortable distance from issues that are often hard to think about. Have you chosen the right career? Are we spending enough time with our children? Is life full of meaning?

We believe that through action we move closer to something greater. We don’t know what that “more” is, but we keep working hard. It’s like we’re climbing up the stairs – as fast as we can – hoping to be at the top. One day we will actually be there. We will reach the top, whether it’s a promotion or a new home. But what’s the point of just climbing up the ladder only to realize later that you’ve leaned it against the wrong wall…

I spent a lot of time with people who made it to the top of the stairs. I especially remember the story of one CEO. During his life he was addicted to doing for decades. He achieved his goal – he headed an international insurance company.

He worked hard for years, hard enough to survive two strokes. But he wanted to secure a quiet life for himself and his family after he retired. Unfortunately, health began to fail. He was no longer sure that he would have time for everything planned before the onset of retirement age. Trying to make the family’s future calm and secure, he lost his family. Dependence on doing did not allow him to notice that the gap between him and the family was widening.

Working, cooking, cleaning, taking care of family and friends – all this is important for each of us. But we ourselves can add some air and space to our to-do list.

“I have a lot to do, but I’m not busy”

The Dalai Lama has arrived in the city. More than 10 people came there to see him. More than 000 volunteers, dozens of security guards and many journalists participated in the preparation of the visit. Behind all this was one man – Lakha, a short man in his 500s, an old friend of the Dalai Lama, with whom they once studied together.

I arrived early to meet my friends and greet the Dalai Lama. There were a lot of guards around, who actively looked after the crowd of people and the journalists. In the center stood Lakha in a suit. I went straight up to him and asked the standard question we usually ask when we meet (I haven’t asked anyone since): “Good afternoon, Lakha, are you busy?” Lakha turned around, looked at me calmly and said, “I have a lot to do, but I’m not busy.”

His appearance spoke louder than his words. Lakha was in charge of a massive project with countless deadlines and details to manage. There were many different parallel processes, but this did not unbalance him. He wasn’t busy.

That day, I clearly understood that being busy is a choice. Despite deadlines, we have the freedom to become addicted to doing, being busy or being lazy, or not. It’s a choice. And the ability to choose is a consequence of the development of a clear mind, free from dependence on doing.

Now we are constantly busy with something, burn out at work, experience stress. It becomes part of our personality: if we are busy, then we are important. If we experience stress, it is only because we are purposeful, in demand and work hard. It is hardwired into the DNA of modern society.

If we’re not busy and stressed, we’re just not trying hard enough. There is something wrong with us. But Lakha showed me a clear alternative to how to do many things at the same time, to be highly efficient and productive, while maintaining mental clarity and calmness.

Busyness is a killer of the heart

You can find various reasons to overcome the dependence on doing and learn to avoid constant “busyness”. This condition not only prevents you from seeing the big picture. Busyness kills the heart. In Chinese, the word “busy” is made up of two syllables, one meaning “heart” and the other meaning “death.” And no more explanation is needed.

The busier we get, the more energy flows into the head—and out of the heart. The busier we are, the more we move away from other people and their experiences. Doing addiction keeps you busy and prevents you from asking yourself why. And the less often we ask, the more we move away from purpose, meaning and love. We become efficient robots that achieve more. But “more” does not mean “better”. Because there is no heart inside all this.

Speed ​​up by slowing down

In order not to kill the heart with addiction to doing, before you pick up speed, you need to slow down. You have to be smart about work and life. Doing the right things – not a huge amount of them. A good illustration of this is the cheetah.

You have probably watched movies about animals and seen how cheetahs hunt. This is a startling sight. The cheetah is the fastest animal on the planet, it accelerates in seconds to a speed exceeding the speed limit on some highways. Despite the amazing abilities of its body, the cheetah does not take off at the sight of prey. Instead, it slows down. He crouches low to the ground and moves very, very slowly for several minutes while all the muscles in his body warm up. Then, when it is ready, everything changes dramatically – and in a matter of seconds it accelerates faster than a sports car and overtakes its prey.

The cheetah’s trick is to slow down before picking up speed. We need to learn this if we are to overcome the dependence on doing or constant “busyness”. Just like a cheetah doesn’t run back and forth to catch a mouse, we need to learn to focus on the really important things and goals – instead of doing something for the sake of doing it.

When we slow down for a moment and let go of “doing,” we allow the brain to let go of the urgent need for dopamine and stop acting simply on impulse. Then we can focus, gain clarity and freedom of mind and choose how to proceed. In this way, we can achieve greater goals in life, becoming kinder and happier. By slowing down, we can speed up.

Slow down. Get more

You can take a systematic approach to slowing down by including “mindful breaks” in your work schedule. This is a 45 second break that you take every hour. Mindful breaks are like a reset button. It helps us reset our minds, stop being a squirrel in the wheel and increase our focus. Set a timer to remind you of this.

When you hear the sound of the timer, stop whatever you are doing at this time. Let go of your thoughts and bring your attention to your breath. During the first inhalation and exhalation, relax the body and mind. During the second, focus your attention. During the third, ask yourself, “What am I doing right now: chasing a mouse or trying to catch a bigger prey?”

Source: vnimatelnost.com