Children do not always put a terrible meaning into their scary words. It is possible that they themselves regret them almost immediately. But the main thing here is not to make the situation worse with an inadequate reaction.
“My daughter hates me. Right in the face and said. She said she would leave home at the earliest opportunity. And she doesn’t care about my words and requests. Hands are still shaking. How to live now, I do not know. And is it worth it … “
There are a lot of such heartbreaking stories on every women’s forum. Teenagers throw cruel, ruthless words in the face of their mothers, they slam the door in their faces. What to do? For advice, women go to the same as them. More often they get not advice, but words of support, but even this is better than nothing.
Psychologists assure: it does not always make sense to panic after hearing this from your own child. Perhaps he spoke these terrible words in a fit of anger, and your reaction made the situation even worse. Now you need to look for a solution to this problem.
“The most important thing is not to hurt him in return. Some parents are so furious when they hear that their child hates them, that they strike back with even greater force, saying that they also hate him and that they should not have given birth to him, ”experts warn.
It’s best to stay calm. You can say very politely that you love him anyway, or you can joke to defuse the situation: “Don’t worry, my love is enough for both of us.” Usually, children behave like this when they are angry that you are forbidding them or not giving them something. This is a temporary situation. If you find it difficult to control yourself, it is better to leave for a while and cool off.
Experts have compiled a special dictionary of the language of adolescents, … Read it – maybe it’s not that bad. Children do not always put such a terrible meaning into their words. Often it’s just a desire to hurt. And the meaning is actually completely different.
“I hate you!” = “I need your love and help! I feel powerless and do not know what to do, so I will say these nasty words to make sure that you will always be there, even when I’m acting just awful. ”
“Leave me alone!” = “I have not figured out the situation and am not ready to deal with it at the moment.”
“Nobody loves Me!” = “One of my friends is acting strange, something is happening that I don’t know about.”
“Shut up!” = “You put me in an awkward position.”
“You never believe me!” = “Sometimes I don’t believe myself.”
“You do not believe me!” = “Right now I am lying to you in a big way.”
“I’m bored!” = “It is not interesting and does not suit me, so I am nervous and irritated.”
“Do you understand me!” = “I feel misunderstood, and you will never realize what problems are hidden in the depths of my complex soul.”
“I promise I will do it!” = “I am not going to do this, if they do not punish me for it, and even if they do, then it is up to me to decide whether it is worth the punishment.”
“Her mom is letting go!” = “I want you to give up like another mother and let me go too.”
“I can not!” = “I don’t want to and I won’t.”
“If you loved me, you would allow me to do it!” = “Let’s see how she reacts to that.” This is one of the most powerful phrases that children use to manipulate their parents. The best response would be to insist on your own, but at the same time emphasize several times that you love your child always and unconditionally – no matter how good or bad he is!