I felt that life had meaning, then fate “gave” me cancer [LIST]

A wedding, a baby on the way and a dream apartment. I felt that life made sense and we are finally entering a new stage. My joy did not last long, however. It was interrupted by the words of the doctor in charge of my pregnancy: “You have a huge tumor on your ovary – it does not fit on the ultrasound screen”. The world suddenly stopped, I only heard these words – says Sandra in a letter to MedTvoiLokony. Get to know her history of fighting cancer and the way she went through so that you can still say today: I am happy.

1. During the first postpartum visit to the gynecologist Mrs. Sandra heard that she had an ovarian tumor. Although a “cyst” was detected during pregnancy, no disturbing changes were found
2. After the first operation, it turned out that chemotherapy was necessary, and shortly afterwards Ms. Sandra was sent for a radical operation – removal of all reproductive organs
3. “At that moment, I did not think that I would not be able to have more children, but rather that we were very lucky that before the entire diagnosis I gave birth to a daughter, our motivation to act” – says the woman
4. Mrs. Sandra decided to write a letter to her daughter for her 18th birthday. «The sealed envelope is waiting in the right place for the right time. However, I still firmly believe that we will read it together »
5. Another blow. It turned out that the primary tumor developed in the intestine, the lesion on the ovary was metastatic. Mrs. Sandra has undergone the third operation
6. «I have started a fight. I followed my heart and changed my chemotherapist. I felt it was the right way »
7. Although she is still struggling with the disease, the woman says today: I am happy, my life has been completely reevaluated, I know what is important at the moment
8. More information can be found on the TvoiLokony home page

Is it cancer? Nobody could answer that

It was my first visit to the gynecologist after the birth of my baby girl. Earlier, during pregnancy, a “cyst” was detected. However, I was calm because the doctor did not find any abnormalities. Now I was sitting in my office and the doctor was writing a referral to the hospital as a matter of urgency. There was only one question in my head: is it cancer? Nobody could answer it.

Parting with my little daughter was a terrible experience for me. I left her when she needed me the most (especially since I was breastfeeding her all the time). I cried all the way to the hospital, cried in the waiting room. I remember the lady sitting next to it. She handed me a handkerchief and said it would be okay. I, too, was hoping that everything would work out somehow. I was very motivated. Nobody believed that after the surgery I would still be able to breastfeed my daughter. However, I was stubborn, I proved that if someone wants something very much, everything is possible.

Photo Private archive

I only caught the worst information

After the first operation, I quickly recovered. I left the hospital after four days. There was no indication that anything might still be wrong. I was waiting for the histopathological result (this is one of the most stressful moments in the whole disease).

I remember having a nice day in July. In the evening my husband Marcin returned from work. As soon as I saw him, everything started to hit me. His eyes were as sad as ever. He just said that the doctor called and we would certainly be able to handle everything. I froze. I started screaming, calling my mom and sister. I totally didn’t know what was happening. I saw my future in the worst colors. I fell from exhaustion.

Even though it was a very tough time mentally, we had to act as soon as possible. We went to the oncology center. Before I started treatment, a council was waiting for me, which unfortunately was not a pleasant experience. We entered the room where several doctors were sitting. They spoke quickly and dryly. Despite the written questions, we felt lost. Each exit from the council ended in crying for me. I only picked up the worst information, other information did not reach me at all.

Before starting treatment, I was also ordered a colonoscopy. It was necessary to check if the cancer did not come from the digestive system. The test results showed nothing – ovarian cancer was confirmed.

I broke. I cried like a baby

We made a plan – we start chemistry. I heard about a psycho-oncologist from my relatives and thanks to him I found peace. I remember my first infusion perfectly well. I went with Marcin. I was combat-oriented and task-oriented. The chemistry is supposed to kill the reptile. I went in for a blood donation and there the nurse started talking about chemotherapy. I broke. I cried like a baby.

Fortunately, the young nurse turned out to be a very empathetic person. She started talking to me, explained everything to me. It made it easier for me to keep going. In the hospital corridor, I also met many nice people who gave me advice and made me aware of the whole process of receiving chemotherapy. There were also people who demotivated. Today I know that you need to dose the knowledge obtained from patients – after all, each of us is different.

I went for the infusion. Unfortunately, my drips took a long time to come off. When I was alone in the room, one of the nurses asked my husband. Marcin sat down next to him and was holding my hand. I was very grateful that my husband was with me in this difficult moment. I was glad that I am not alone, that I have great support in him. I was given the entire chemotherapy regimen for ovarian cancer.

A letter to my daughter for her 18th birthday

Two weeks after the first chemo, my hair fell out. It was another very strong and stressful moment for me. My mother promised me to buy a wig to improve my psychological comfort even slightly. I tried not to comb the hair that was left over until I bought the wig (I wanted it to last as long as possible). I remember the day we went to Krakow with our family. Marcin had already found a wig store where I could buy a wig very similar to my “old” natural hair (back then I didn’t want to tell everyone about the disease). The day before my departure, Marcin and my sister Paula cut off the rest of my hair with a razor. It was one of the worst moments of my two-year struggle with cancer.

In the meantime (after four courses of the first cycle of chemotherapy) I was referred for radical surgery – removal of all reproductive organs. At that moment, I did not think that I would not be able to have more children, rather that we were very lucky that before the entire diagnosis I gave birth to my daughter Iga, our motivation to act.

Photo Private archive

In moments of weakness, I decided to write a letter to my daughter for her 18th birthday. The sealed envelope is waiting in the right place for the right time. However, I still firmly believe that we will read it together. I am a fighter and for such purposes I am not going to give up.

The tumor on the ovary was a metastasis

The attending physician sent me for a PET scan (Positron Emission Tomography – ed.). Two spots lit up – one in the large intestine. It had to be checked. I was referred for a colonoscopy. A centimeter-sized polyp was found. It was cancer. Another blow. It turned out that the primary tumor developed in the intestine, the lesion on the ovary was metastatic. The surgeon proposed an operation and intraperitoneal chemotherapy HIPEC (intraperitoneal chemotherapy in hyperthermic conditions – ed.). It all seemed so hard.

The third operation did not spare me – I spent eight hours on the table. It was hard for me to pull myself together. I missed a loved one to start functioning – the pandemic did not allow me to visit the hospital. The doctor informed her husband that the operation had gone according to plan and all the lesions found in the abdomen had been excised. However, we still had to wait for further histopathological examinations.

It was the first time that a psycho-oncologist came to me – I didn’t have the strength to talk to her. After a few days, I somehow recovered and started to function as much as possible. After more than a week, I left the hospital.

A new treatment plan and another chemotherapy. This time we’re aiming for the gut. Chemotherapy did not spare me. I had a hard time taking these moments – in the first days after admitting it, I was very weak. The CT scans that came in in the meantime showed no new changes. Only a follow-up examination after the completion of the chemotherapy cycle revealed cancerous infiltrates on the peritoneum.

I followed my heart. I felt it was the right way

I was looking for a different path and the opinions of various doctors all over Poland. I found a surgeon who proposed an operation and another HIPEC. I agreed. The changes turned out to be inoperable. This time I quickly recovered, the information given by the doctor did not break me down, on the contrary – I started a fight. I followed my heart and changed my chemotherapist. I felt it was the right way. Throughout my illness, I missed something, but I was often afraid to take any action. The first hospital where I started treatment is a reputable place, but the large number of patients made me feel at some points that I was not spending enough time. This raised further questions – it was all about my life and health.

Photo Private archive

I realize that it is very difficult for a doctor to focus on each individual case, when he sees even 40-50 patients in one day. My husband spent hours on the phone many times, trying to reach specific people and take care of even the simplest matters.

In the new place, we have direct contact with the doctor, thanks to which I feel very cared for. When my days are weaker or I get additional side effects from chemotherapy, I know I can contact him at any time. In the new hospital, I met a “good soul” who told me about supportive treatment. The woman encouraged me not to think, but to act immediately. It also happened!

I went to the clinic and once again I felt that this was the right way to go. I already know that with the knowledge we have today, we would have a completely different approach to the disease. It is very important at the diagnosis stage to get to know people who will properly guide you through the entire treatment path.

I don’t want to waste time on negative emotions. I live here and now

I am currently undergoing another cycle of chemotherapy (three days every two weeks). I also use supportive treatment, and my husband has learned to administer additional drips to me, which have a strengthening and detoxifying effect (my body must have the strength to receive subsequent chemotherapy).

Due to supportive treatment, we decided to set up a fundraiser in April. The treatment itself is very expensive – it is on average over 10. monthly (in addition to the diet, additional supplements and drip support are needed to strengthen the body so that it is able to take subsequent doses of chemotherapy). From the beginning of April to now, we settled 50 thousand zlotys on the basis of collection invoices. zloty. We are very grateful to all donors for their support and that we can do our best to win this fight. You, too, can help Sandra win against the disease.

Recently, I have received tremendous support that I did not expect before. Next to me, I have my family, super friends and acquaintances who I am grateful for for every moment of support and extra strength to fight. Every little word has a very positive effect on me.

Currently, the disease shows stabilization. I am happy, my life has been completely reevaluated. I know what is important at the moment. I live here and now – every moment is very important to me. I don’t want to waste time on negative emotions, I cut myself off from it and only look for those beautiful, empowering moments that allow me to enjoy life in handfuls.

Photo Private archive

I listen to my body and pause and rest whenever it needs to (although it’s difficult when you want to make the most of every moment). However, I know that everything happens in our head. I feel healthy. I believe a day will come when I will take a break from treatment and live even better. This is my goal. Two-year-old Iga is my motivation and great love. I cannot let her down. If so many people succeed, why can’t it be me too?

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths, but by the number of breath-taking moments”. Maya Angelou

We encourage you to listen to the latest episode of the RESET podcast. This time Joanna Kozłowska, author of the book High Sensitivity. A Guide for Those Who Feel Too Much »says that high sensitivity is not a disease or dysfunction – it’s just a set of characteristics that affect the way you perceive and perceive the world. What are the genetics of WWO? What are the perks of being highly sensitive? How to act with your high sensitivity? You will find out by listening to the latest episode of our podcast.