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If you get sick, you need to see a doctor. Any child will say this… but for some reason, not every adult does this. Some prefer to carry the flu with complications on their feet, torturing themselves and those around them with a prolonged cough and headaches, but they will never go to the doctor for anything. Why?
“When was the last time I was at the gynecologist? Three years ago, no less, when my periods stopped. 36-year-old Anna’s cycle has not recovered since then, but she does not want to see a doctor. “I’m afraid of what he might tell me,” she admits.
Escape from reality
Not wanting to take into account your illness is one way of escaping from reality. French psychoanalyst Patrick Delaroche explains that often this flight is due to «the tendency to make the disease more serious than it actually is.»
It would seem that there is nothing easier: to look to the doctor and remove the burden from the soul, instead of being tormented by doubts and fear of the unknown. But the fact is that fears are easier to control than the anxiety that a professional verdict can cause. Whatever the diagnosis, you have to come to terms with it. On the contrary, if you don’t know anything about it, then at least there will be a chance to somehow “come to terms” with your illness.
Back to childhood
Postponing the trip to the doctor, Anna persuades herself that her cycle is about to recover. As if one could be healed only by the power of one’s own conviction… This delusion is one of the manifestations of what psychoanalysis calls «magical thought.» Some adults, like little ones, attribute supernatural power to thoughts: it seems that if you think intensely about something, it will happen.
In Totem and Taboo, Freud explains that such a phenomenon means a return to the childish unconscious idea of uXNUMXbuXNUMXbits own omnipotence. Indeed, who, if not a small child, believes that everything around him is subject to it?
Revolt against the father
The doctor, endowed with the power to «save» or «sentence», can be perceived as the embodiment of a formidable, authoritarian father. The patient will constantly strive to overthrow his «power», regardless of medical knowledge.
For some, being sick is feeling like you exist.
Alexander is 43 years old and has been suffering from stomach problems for almost ten years. Listen to him, so there is no person in the world who is better able to understand his illness and knows how to cope with it. Alexander chose self-treatment: for him there is no question of following the prescriptions of a doctor, even if he is a respected medical luminary.
self-punishment
What justifies Alexander? The fact that «this is what fate has decreed, and nothing can be done now, we must somehow adapt to the disease.» He generally perceives his problems as «God’s punishment» for his own «sins».
This behavior can be explained by too strict upbringing or mental trauma that was once in his life. He could not cope with it then, and now, through the disease, he lives that experience again and again. In any case, the person turns out to be dependent on guilt and as if says: «I get what I deserve.»
Attract attention
Finally, refusing treatment may simply be beneficial: for some, staying ill means feeling like you exist. Yes, yes, almost according to Descartes: I suffer, therefore I exist. After all, the suffering body is the body that you feel. In addition, this is a body in which others show a special interest: when we are sick, we are taken care of, we are looked after …
When there is a lack of care and attention from loved ones, for some, the disease turns out to be an ideal excuse to “fall” into childhood and again surround themselves with tenderness and maternal affection.
What to do
Choosing the right doctor
Unwillingness to be treated is often associated with distrust of doctors. The problem can be solved if you find the time and do the search, listening to the advice of friends and relatives. The specialization of the doctor is not so important, the main thing is the ability to establish a trusting relationship with him. Such a doctor himself will refer you to other specialists who are needed and will inspire confidence.
Get examined regularly
The less often we go to the doctor, the more we are afraid of these meetings and stop going altogether. To get out of this vicious circle, make a rough schedule of visits for yourself: make your relationship with medicine more ordinary.
Change your relationship with other people
A person cherishes his illness in order to be pitied and taken care of… But the result can be the opposite: who likes to listen to the endless complaints of the patient — real or imaginary. To get out of this negative system of relationships, you can, for example, do charity work. The task: to change our attitude to suffering, to “transfer arrows” from our difficulties to the problems of other people, to turn our susceptibility to pain into a positive force that opens us to other people.