Rent a mountain chalet with a dozen friends, and even more so — share the impressions of the trip with fifty companions? Never! The thought of taking a vacation with company terrifies some of us. Why?
“When I go somewhere with a company, there is a feeling that I have been deprived of individuality! — 25-year-old Margarita is simply suffocated by emotions. “Yes, and everything around becomes uninteresting, similar to each other.” It was the same in childhood: “I wrote every day from the camp to be taken away,” and in my student years, when I rented an apartment for several people. “At the same time, according to my friends, I am sociable, not at all some kind of gloomy loner.” So what’s the deal?
It’s hard for me to set the right distance. An obstacle to well-being in a group can be the desire for deep relationships, which is part of our culture of communication. “For some, it manifests itself especially strongly,” emphasizes business psychologist and coach Maria Makarushkina, “and it is difficult for such people to be superficially kind. They try to make friends with every member of the group and because of this they experience emotional overload, which can take the form of irritation or boredom.
I want independence. In an unfamiliar city, we slow down to take a closer look at an unusual sign. But the guide leads the group forward — and we regret to part with the object of our unsatisfied curiosity. Any collective subordinates its member to the rules adopted in it. We are forced to reckon with the general daily routine, the desires and capabilities of others. But isn’t that what we do every day at work? “A vacation provides an opportunity to create conditions that are different from everyday ones, to make up for the lack of impressions,” the coach continues. “Those who are used to rigid limits often use it to feel independent and follow only their desires.”
I’m losing myself. Some feel superfluous among other people, it is difficult for them to assert their individuality. Plus, when going on vacation with family or friends, everyone is quickly assigned to a specific seat… not necessarily the right one. “A company always has its own neat man, its own organizer, its own lazy person,” says psychologist Gérard Macqueron. “Such labels every time “seem to tell us that nothing has changed.”
I am shyReluctance to vacation with a group can be a sign of social phobia. “Very shy people are afraid of any prying eyes,” says Gerard Mackeron. Travelers go sightseeing together… but sometimes they have to share a common table or bathroom. This can be very disturbing for those who lack self-respect. “Some do not feel their value and do not believe that they will be well received,” the psychologist summarizes. In addition, the company is always a risk that some friend — the owner of steel muscles, or a girlfriend — the soul of society, will loom nearby every day.