“I can’t take it anymore”: 5 steps to deal with burnout

Step 1. Admit that you are not feeling well.

Stop the wheel in which you spin like a squirrel. Tell yourself: “Stop! I feel tired, irritated, exhausted… And something needs to be done about it.”

We are so used to ignoring our discomfort (“You never know what you feel, things won’t do themselves!”), That in psychological work we have to pay special attention to turning around, looking at ourselves and seeing our pain.

Emotional burnout often manifests itself in work or in parents when communicating with young children and adolescents. Therefore, the next steps will be related to two areas of our lives: work and family.

Step 2: Identify external factors that lead to burnout

To do this, write a list of things that annoy you at work or parenthood. Let there be everything, everything that comes to mind. From the micro level, for example, the color of the curtains in the office, to global moments – the need to be responsible for the child all the time.

Don’t be modest. Write down everything you remember. And then sit down, reread the list again and complete it.

Step 3: Find the internal factors that lead to burnout

Keep a stress diary for a few days. As soon as you notice that you are feeling irritated, anxious, tired, or simply “something is wrong,” describe the situation using the formula:

A. What happened – describe the situation as if you were talking about it on video;

B. Thoughts that arose – it may not be easy, but with practice, you will learn to notice them;

AT.Emotions that arose as a result of the situation, “How did I feel?”

What can be seen with the help of such a diary? Several interesting internal characters that will complicate our already difficult life. This is the Inner Critic and Perfectionist. Their words that “everything must be done perfectly”, “good parents do not have children yelling” significantly increase our stress and push us to burnout.

Step 4Turn on gentle mode

Turn it on for as long as possible. Of course, I want to write about a couple of weeks, but the reality is different for everyone. So even if it is only a couple of hours, they will still benefit you.

What can you do for yourself during this period?

• Give up loads that you can refuse. Not permanently, just for the time you need to recover. Believe me, as a result, no one will die, and you will not lose your job.
• Suggest that the Critic with the Perfectionist take a vacation. And in general, allow yourself to be “imperfect” or even “don’t give a damn.” Exclusively for medicinal purposes, for a while. After all, such decisions, taken forever, will surely launch internal resistance (“How so! Life will go downhill!”), And we do not need an additional load.
• Ask for help: close, distant, anyone you can turn to. It’s tricky—again, the “everything by itself” mindset—but it’s necessary. In addition, when we ask for help, we give those who help us a chance to feel better.

Step 5. Think about what you can change in your life

When you are at least a little recovered, sit down and think about how to live on. Of course, there is no escape from the load and experiences, but how we will cope with them psychologically depends on three factors:

• objective load – the organization of the day, the amount of work;
• self-relationship – Critic and Perfectionist can complicate any activity;
• focus on meaning and value.

In any activity, it is important to understand why I do it (what’s the point?) and what is important for me in this (what do I want to be when I do it?). It is the meaning and values ​​that help to abandon the irrelevant and highlight the important.

If all of the above does not help, you should seek help – under the guise of burnout, depression or other serious conditions that require the help of a specialist can be hidden.