“I can’t (don’t want to) obey”

“I worked at a company where an extraordinary designer worked in the next department. Arkady was very capable, even brilliant, as his colleagues spoke of him, but completely unbearable. At the meeting, he could break in the hearts of the sketches that had been expected from him for several weeks, only because they asked to add something wrong. Or tossing a corporate laptop into a corner. He was tolerated for a long time, but one day, when a serious project was put under attack and the company lost several million, they put him out the door without a “golden parachute,” says 35-year-old Igor, an employee of an advertising agency.

Eccentric people are indeed often forgiven for impulsiveness in exchange for brilliant ideas or a quality final product. The authorities look through their fingers at the inadequate reactions of a valuable employee.

“A bright, but very unrestrained lady worked for us. She could spontaneously go on vacation for a week, reporting this in the midst of a meeting, organized by her, by text message. The director used to justify her: «This is my cross, but she is a very strong salesperson.» We thought that this was elementary bad manners and disrespect for the team, ”recalls 41-year-old Angela, an employee of an industrial enterprise.

Why can some people work together, take into account the interests of the team, while others cannot follow the elementary rules of subordination and hierarchy requirements?

Sharikov against Henry Ford

“From the point of view of psychology, the verb “cannot” is not quite correctly used here — “cannot observe the hierarchy,” comments psychotherapist Yuri Vagin. What does «can’t» mean? A person who cannot fully comply with the hierarchy will not be able to adapt in any society: neither in kindergarten, nor at school, nor at the institute, nor in a professional environment.

It is rather about unwillingness or difficulty to observe the hierarchy, to follow other people’s instructions and orders. This is possible, says the expert. And here we need to talk about two types of personality that may have similar problems. It is important not to confuse them.

“On the one hand, dissocial psychopaths and sociopaths. Due to the wrong upbringing of the “family idol” type, they have a completely inadequate idea of ​​the size and significance of their own personality. On the other hand, there are creative individuals who can indeed often offer a more interesting, original and correct solution than the rules and instructions familiar to everyone, ”explains the psychotherapist. And they are different types. It’s not that hard to tell them apart.

“Unlike a dissocial psychopath, a creative person does not simply reject any hierarchy, rules or laws, but always offers a different, new, original solution to the problem. At one extreme is Henry Ford. As the well-known anecdote says, even during his funeral, when ten people solemnly carried the coffin, he could not stand it, sat down and said: “No, well, it’s impossible! If you put the coffin on wheels, then only one person can roll it! On the other is Bulgakov’s Sharikov, who always «disagrees with both.»

The difference between these types is manifested not only in psychological, but also in psychiatric terms. The first, a dissocial psychopath, will not be able to serve in the army — his personality and behavior disorder will be a danger to others. A creative person, even from army everyday life, will make a holiday for the soul and bring a lot of useful and varied things to the routine of service.

“Hundreds and hundreds of well-known creative people served in the army, worked in the most tedious and uninteresting jobs, but at the same time created, composed and wrote. For example, Alexandre Dumas,” comments the psychotherapist.

As mathematicians say: not to accept rules, laws and not follow orders is not enough condition to be considered a creative person. It is important to justify the definition of «creative» — ​​to create. Create, generate something new and better than the old.

Who grow up the idols of the family

Are there any features of character, personality structure, temperament in such people? Let’s try to write a portrait of both types.

“The main features of a dissocial psychopath are ignorance of social norms, impulsiveness, short temper, often mixed with aggressiveness, and violations in the formation of attachment. Probably, such a person grew up in a family where they put him on a pedestal, turning him into an idol. From childhood, he gets used to the fact that the world revolves around him, his desires. And it is completely incomprehensible to him why suddenly the situation and the attitude of others should change at the school or institute where His Majesty went to study, ”explains Yuri Vagin.

From childhood, a creative person absorbs and quickly assimilates any information, including norms and social laws. If suddenly such a child does not comply with them, then it is not at all because he has not learned or does not agree. It’s just that he’s bored of living in this framework. And he does his best to push them apart, not always taking into account the interests of others.

A creative child can rename all family members several times a day and require them to respond to new names. It’s not that he can’t or doesn’t want to remember their real names, but that he’s bored of calling everyone and always the same.

A dissocial personality does not seem to “grow” to the ability to comply with rules, norms and laws, but a creative one, on the contrary, “outgrows” them, the expert is convinced.

A dissocial child does not consider it necessary to perform any tasks in the classroom. The creative will solve the problem as needed and in some other way, often more interesting than the teacher suggested. And here it is important that the teacher does not turn out to be a dissocial psychopath who believes that at least the Universe of the class should rotate only as he said.

Instructions for use

But now the child grows up and enters the adult world, where completely different rules apply — sometimes quite strict. What is happening to him? And what about those who are “lucky” to work side by side with him? Is it always worth spending time and energy to find the key to such a person?

“It is impossible to work in a team with the first type. There is only one exception: you are part of a team specially hired to «love» a dissocial personality. Examples can often be seen in show business. But even in this case, you are not working with him, but for him. And the more you adjust, the worse his behavior becomes, ”says Yuri Vagin.

“The second type is interesting and comfortable to work with. The main thing is to give the creative employee the freedom to be creative, and he will very quickly solve any problem for himself, for you and for the entire organization. The company will make a profit, you will receive honor and glory, and a creative person will drive. This is that rare Sisyphus who gets great pleasure from rolling the heaviest stone up the mountain. He will quickly help to create or organize a device that allows others to roll their stones.

For a creative employee, the best motivation is in solving a non-standard task of increased complexity. It is unlikely that it will be possible to make it work on a tedious, well-worn site, even for a lot of money.

Application point of creativity

What to do if we know such features behind ourselves and our unwillingness to obey interferes with our work, friendship, relationships?

“If you feel like a creative person who is characterized by the search for non-standard solutions and lack of respect for norms and rules, then you should look for the appropriate environment. It is known that creative individuals like to unite in teams and communities. Let them often turn out to be short-lived, but they make it possible to be among their own kind, to act outside the box. In addition, they allow you to receive social approval, which is just as important for creative individuals as for non-creative ones, ”says the psychotherapist.