I Attract the Wrong Men: How to Break the Vicious Cycle

In life, usually nothing is repeated just like that, especially in a relationship. The repetition occurs until a certain cycle is completed. Putting a logical point in the process, we get the beginning of a new cycle.

How does it «work» in relationships with the opposite sex? A woman will attract men of the same type into her life until she understands why this is happening.

For example, I often hear complaints from clients about jealous or weak partners. Women want to find a self-confident chosen one, with an inner core that can become their support and protection. Alas, it turns out just the opposite: we get what we run from.

What are four questions to ask yourself?

Find free time when no one will distract you, relax and focus. Then take a pen and paper and answer four questions:

1. Write a list of character traits (up to 10) that you would really like to see in your partner and that are endowed with personalities close or authoritative for you.
2. Mark up to 10 features that repel you in men and you categorically would not want to see them in your own chosen one, but you have already met them in someone from your relatives, friends, relatives.
3. Write down your most cherished childhood dream: what you really wanted to get, but it didn’t happen (it was forbidden, it wasn’t bought, it wasn’t possible to implement it). For example, as a child, you dreamed of your own room, but were forced to live with your sister or brother.
4. Remember the brightest, warmest moment from childhood — what makes you feel joy, awe, causes tears of tenderness.

Now read what each of the points means from the standpoint of the law of balance and kindred spirits.

The decoding is as follows: you can get what you want in paragraph 1 only after you work out the situation with paragraph 2, and this will eventually allow you to realize your dream from paragraph 3 and feel what you wrote in paragraph 4.

Until then, you will meet exactly what you hate and run from in your partner (read point 2). Because it is precisely these character traits in a man that are familiar and understandable to you and even close to some extent — you live or lived with this, and something else is simply unfamiliar to you.

A typical example will help to understand: a girl grew up in a family of alcoholic parents and, having matured, married a drinker, or at some point her prosperous husband began to drink a bottle.

We largely choose a partner subconsciously, and the chosen type is familiar to a woman — she grew up in a similar family and, even if she herself has never drunk alcohol, it is easiest for her to live with an alcoholic. The same applies to a jealous or weak-willed man. Habitual, albeit negative scenarios make the behavior of the chosen one understandable, the woman knows how to react to him.

How to get out of the vicious circle of negative relationships

Getting out of this cycle is generally pretty easy. Take a pen and add in paragraphs 1 and 2 positive and negative character traits that you have never met with your loved ones, people from your environment, authorities and personalities you hate. This should include unfamiliar, unusual qualities, skills, behavioral strategies that are not from your scenarios and families.

Then fill out the same questionnaire for yourself — write what new features you would like to have, and which ones you would like to get rid of quickly. Imagine how you would look in a new look, and try it on yourself and your new partner, like a suit. Keep in mind that everything new is always a little uncomfortable: it may seem that you look stupid or that the desired changes will never be achieved.

A simple kinesthetic exercise will help overcome this constraint: every day, starting tomorrow morning, brush your teeth with your other hand. If you are right-handed, then left, if left-handed, then right. And do this for 60 days.

Trust me, change will come. The main thing is new, unusual actions that will pull everything else with them.